dess36 48 H
136  Artículos‚ Puntuación 2.9
Mirar mis fotoss   18/3/2019

Teneis mi permiso para copiar y exhibir mis imagenes donde querais, me da mucho morbo que me puedan ver...


5 Comentarios, 26 Vistas, 1 Votos ,5.00 Puntuación
dess36 48 H
136  Artículos‚ Puntuación 2.9
jijijijjii ii iii ii i   18/2/2019

como veis en mis fotos y gifs, me encanta el sexo al aire libre y me expongo desnudo con publico, espero os den morbo...


9 Comentarios, 38 Vistas, 3 Votos ,1.96 Puntuación
katherineduvals 23 M
1  Artículo
After coming, we laugh until we come again.   13/2/2019

There is nothing more pleasant than laughter. <br><br> Laughter is a type of exercise to keep young, and it is proven that when we laugh we use less muscles of the face and thus we stay young. <br><br> but, after an excellent sex, laugh at a joke, comment or joke, gives a lot of confidence and stability to the relationship. Let's not stop ...


0 Comentarios, 17 Vistas, 1 Votos ,5.00 Puntuación
Lorehill 24 M
4  Artículos
Cumfum   2/8/2018

I have a sex with my cousing (she) my first lesbian activity and I drop my pee over her that's was funny because she was angry a little bit.


1 Comentarios, 11 Vistas, 5 Votos ,2.49 Puntuación
cvillau 42 H
25  Artículos‚ Puntuación 7.6
Chicas no se puede vivir sin ellas   8/6/2017

Cuando uno ve esto hay muchas cosas que hacen sentido, al menos para los hombres... XD XD XD


4 Comentarios, 34 Vistas, 11 Votos ,4.66 Puntuación
venomdemon 50 H
5  Artículos
ERUPTION !!!   21/7/2016

BUUUUAAAAAAAAAAAAA


0 Comentarios, 37 Vistas, 7 Votos ,2.53 Puntuación
venomdemon 50 H
5  Artículos
CAMPANA SOBRE CAMPANA !!!   21/7/2016

ESTAS SI QUE SON CAMPANADAS !!!


5 Comentarios, 61 Vistas, 20 Votos ,4.91 Puntuación
alexander62619 26 H
7  Artículos
Switching mis Modelos   28/4/2016

En la pagina de AmigosCalientes.com aparecen notificaciones de las modelos que continuamente se están presentando, ya sea para chat o hasta para buscar una experiencia virtual erótica mediante el Buz. Esta nueva experiencia en materia de las modelos Chateando me pareció una novedad y un Plus para la pagina, a cada momento chicas de todas partes del planeta están transmitiendo sus diferentes ...


1 Comentarios, 13 Vistas, 10 Votos ,1.99 Puntuación
Rusia_7 34 M
13  Artículos
Las Princesas ...   24/2/2016

Tambien EXPLOTAN !!


2 Comentarios, 30 Vistas, 12 Votos ,3.15 Puntuación
Rusia_7 34 M
13  Artículos
deseo   24/2/2016

[image 15-1]...


2 Comentarios, 24 Vistas, 11 Votos ,2.79 Puntuación
garchocasadas 50 H
2  Artículos
Vida contemplativa   29/5/2015

—Me dedico a la vida contemplativa —dijo el filósofo a sus discípulos, cuando la mesera, en minifalda, se inclinó para dejar unas cervezas en la mesa contigua.


0 Comentarios, 18 Vistas, 6 Votos ,1.66 Puntuación
lips_red 52 M
7  Artículos
Visita al dentista....   11/3/2015

Llega una señora a la consulta del dentista; se sube la falda, se baja, las bragas y abre las piernas. El doctor sorprendido le dice: - "Señora…bueno…yo soy dentista, no ginecólogo." Y la señora le contesta: - "¡No te hagas el tonto; tu le colocaste la dentadura postiza a mi marido.... y ahora me la sacas!."


3 Comentarios, 50 Vistas, 18 Votos ,5.03 Puntuación
lips_red 52 M
7  Artículos
Aniversario   9/3/2015

Un hombre le dice a su mujer -"Como mañana es nuestro aniversario voy a matar un cordero para comer y así celebrarlo!..... La mujer le responde, -"¿ Y porqué no matas a tú primo que fue quién nos presentó? ¿Que te ha hecho el pobre cordero?...."


3 Comentarios, 21 Vistas, 9 Votos ,4.49 Puntuación
lips_red 52 M
7  Artículos
Solocitid de aumento de salario del Pene   15/2/2015

YO, EL PENE, PIDO AUMENTO DE SALARIO POR LAS SIGUIENTES.- RAZONES: - Ejecuto Trabajo físico - Trabajo a grandes profundidades - Trabajo de cabeza - No gozo de descanso semanal, ni días de fiesta - Trabajo en un local extremadamente húmedo - No me pagan horas extras ni nocturnidad - Trabajo en un local oscuro y sin ventilación - Trabajo a altas temperaturas - Trabajo expuesto a enfermedades ...


2 Comentarios, 34 Vistas, 13 Votos ,4.82 Puntuación
lips_red 52 M
7  Artículos
Se traspasa?   1/1/2015

Dos amigos se encuentran en la calle y dice uno :-¿Qué te ha pasado Francisco? Dice el otro:- Pues que iba con la moto muy rápido y, ¿te acuerdas del edificio, ese que ponía "se traspasa"?.... -Sí - Pues que no es verdad. ¡No se puede traspasar!


1 Comentarios, 23 Vistas, 10 Votos ,4.78 Puntuación
lips_red 52 M
7  Artículos
Se traspasa?   1/1/2015

Dos amigos se encuentran en la calle y dice uno :-¿Qué te ha pasado Francisco? Dice el otro:- Pues que iba con la moto muy rápido y, ¿te acuerdas del edificio, ese que ponía "se traspasa"?.... -Sí - Pues que no es verdad. ¡No se puede traspasar!


0 Comentarios, 6 Vistas, 4 Votos ,2.47 Puntuación
Reflexiones   8/8/2014

Me he puesto a pensar que porque a las personas desatinadas y que rien con sus fallos son coniderados chistosos y por la espalda son llamados dicho popularmente "weones", una persona que es graciosa que bromea es considerada tonta, la persona aburrida que no bromea no dice algo chistoso y que se dedica a criticar a los demas por ende a buscarle sus defectos es llamada inteligente. Un amigo ...


0 Comentarios, 6 Vistas, 2 Votos ,2.42 Puntuación
rm_javi19788888 38 H
10  Artículos
Follar y reir   2/8/2014

Dos de los principales placeres que nos brinda esta vida, son el sexo y reir.Ahora surge una pregunta:¿Se pueden complementar o son exclusivos? La respuesta depende de cada uno, por supuesto, pero uno y otro se pueden complementar.Algunos diran que no les agradará ver a su pareja reirse durante el acto en si, que les corta el rollo ( !!mal asunto¡¡) y otros te diran que le pone picante a la ...


0 Comentarios, 13 Vistas, 3 Votos ,1.47 Puntuación
Zorragaditana 50 M
9  Artículos
Todo depende de quien lo cuente.....   22/7/2014

¡Mujeres!... ¡hombres!... es todo cuestión de percepciones . Dos mujeres conversando: - ¿Cómo fue tu día? - Una catástrofe! mi marido llegó a casa del trabajo, cenó en tres minutos, después tuvimos relaciones sexuales en cuatro minutos y a los dos minutos, ya estaba dormido! Y tu día, ¿cómo fue? - Ha sido fantástico! Mi marido llegó a casa, me llevó a cenar, después a caminar ...


3 Comentarios, 67 Vistas, 13 Votos ,4.82 Puntuación
Zorragaditana 50 M
9  Artículos
Por no saber nadar....   15/7/2014

Un pescador que tiene una barca, ve a su amigo pepe y le dice: - Oye Pepe, ¿sabes que me paso ayer?. Me vino una rubia diciendo que si le daba una vuelta en barca y yo le dije que sí. La lleve a detras de la isla, paré y le dije que si no echabamos un polvete volvia nadando, ¿y sabes lo mejor?, no sabia nadar!!

Al dia siguiente lo mismo, una peliroja: ¿me das una vueltita? si si, ...


2 Comentarios, 58 Vistas, 12 Votos ,3.68 Puntuación
Zorragaditana 50 M
9  Artículos
Cortitos   14/7/2014

- ¿Cuáles son las mujeres que mejor conocen su cuerpo? - Las que se masturban, porque lo conocen "al dedillo".



Se levanta una polla por la mañana, con los ojos todos pegados, se pega una ducha, abre el armario y dice: -¿Y que cojones me pongo yo hoy?



¿Qué le dijo el posavasos a la cerveza? -¡Rubia que frío tenés el culo!



¿Qué le ...


2 Comentarios, 35 Vistas, 5 Votos ,3.14 Puntuación
Zorragaditana 50 M
9  Artículos
Viagra   14/7/2014

El dentista le explica al hombre que debía extraerle la muela para lo que lo iba a anestesiar, comienza a preparar la jeringa cuando el hombre lo interrumpe:

- Nada de agujas, yo tengo pánico a las agujas...

- Bueno, dice el dentista, vamos a anestesiar con un poco de gas...

- No doctor...no soporto tener la máscara de gas en la cara...

El dentista trae una ...


1 Comentarios, 39 Vistas, 7 Votos ,3.30 Puntuación
Zorragaditana 50 M
9  Artículos
Mi novia es mas tonta que la tuya....   13/7/2014

Están tres amigos viendo un partido de fútbol. Cuando llega el descanso empiezan a hablar de sus cosas...

> Hombre 1: 'Jodeerrrr, mi novia es muy tonta... Me dice el otro día que se va de tiendas y venga a comprar, venga a comprar, y va y se compra cuatro ruedas!!!! La madre que la parió..... pero si no tiene cocheeeeee!!!!'



> Hombre 2: 'Uyyyy consuélate, porque ...


0 Comentarios, 32 Vistas, 5 Votos ,4.12 Puntuación
Rusia_7 34 M
13  Artículos
Aumento de sueldo   1/6/2014

YO, EL PENE, Exijo Un Aumento De Sueldo Por Las Siguientes Razones: 1) Hago Trabajo Físico 2) Trabajo En Grandes Profundidades 3) Trabajo Fines De Semana y Días Festivos 4) Trabajo En Áreas Oscuras Con Poca Ventilación 5) Trabajo En Temperaturas Altas ; S 6) Mi Trabajo Me Expone a Enfermedades

Querido Pene Su Pedido De Aumento Ha Sido Denegado Por Las Siguientes Razones:

...


2 Comentarios, 38 Vistas, 11 Votos ,3.35 Puntuación
MONICABIGAIL 41 M
1  Artículo
NOCHE DIFERENTE   6/5/2014

UNA NOCHE ME ENCONTRABA EN UN LUGAR MUY POPULAR Y LLAMADO VULGARMENTE EL MOTEL DE LOS POBRES HACIENDO LA PREVIA PARA UN POLVITO CON UN AMIGO AVENTAJADO Q SE DEDICABA A CONDUCIR UN COLECTIVO, CUANDO DE REPENTE ESTABAMOS EN LO MEJOR.... MUY PERO MUY ACALORADOS YO YA SIN NADA DE ROPA Y EL SIN LA POLERA Y SUS PANTALONES HASTA LAS RODILLAS EN EL ASIENTO TRASERO DEL COLECTIVO CUANDO POR PETICION MIA ...


2 Comentarios, 80 Vistas, 12 Votos ,3.51 Puntuación
demonxxx10 20 H
3  Artículos
sera que todos cometemos errores chistosos en la cama   9/3/2014

alguna ves hiciste algo muy vergonzoso hasta el punto de matarte de risa en la cama




0 Comentarios, 17 Vistas, 1 Votos ,2.40 Puntuación
gatillazo   1/6/2013

¿un buen gatillazo es mano de santo para repetir con una mujer, mejor que un ramo de rosas?


0 Comentarios, 14 Vistas, 6 Votos ,1.37 Puntuación
te dopas?   1/6/2013

¿te dopas para funcionar bien en el sexo?, EPO, hormonas, autotransfusiones, ... jalea real? pastillas azules? ostras? .. barritas energeticas? bebidas isotónicas...?


0 Comentarios, 6 Vistas, 0 Votos
Naliba 35 M
11  Artículos
¿Os gustaría meterme mano?   27/5/2013

¿Os gustaría meterme mano?


8 Comentarios, 80 Vistas, 17 Votos ,3.55 Puntuación
rm_sijkick 28 H
10  Artículos
un chiste   31/7/2012

-Mama, mama los corazones tienen piernas? -No -Pues papa esta diciendo en la habitacion de la criada: Abrete de piernas corazon


0 Comentarios, 51 Vistas, 6 Votos ,2.51 Puntuación
El leon y el Burro   24/7/2012

Estaban un leon y un solo en medio de la selva y con unas ganas enormes de follar y no pasaba ninguna Leona ni ninguna Yegua, asi que el leon le propone al que se lo monten entre ellos y el acepta de buen gusto. El leon le pide ser el primero por ser el rey de la selva y saca un frasco y se empieza a untar la polla entonces el le pregunta que que hace a lo cual el leon responde que se esta ...


1 Comentarios, 101 Vistas, 7 Votos ,3.04 Puntuación
rm_Rigel2010a 58 H
1  Artículo
Quejate al hacer el amor   20/7/2012

Carlita le pregunta a sexy flor que hacer para que su marido tenga mas interes en ella y le recomienda que SE QUEJE cuando haga el amor, esto enardece a los hombres. La siguiente noche se viste muy sensual y lo lleva a la camara nupcial y ya que estan en lo mas algido del tema ella habla. Que caro esta todo verdad , y estas elecciones han sido un fraude y no se encuentra buena verdura , en fin ...


0 Comentarios, 91 Vistas, 8 Votos ,2.55 Puntuación
viciosos65 54 P
15  Artículos
Muy cortos   8/7/2012

¿Como se llama al trozo de carne entre el culo y el coño? ...Fronton, porque es ahi donde rebotan las pelotas



¿Hasta qué número pueden contar las mujeres? ... Hasta el 68 porque en el 69 tienen la boca llena.



¿En qué se parecen las tetas de las mujeres y los dibujos animados? ... En que están hechos para y entretienen a los mayores.



...


1 Comentarios, 45 Vistas, 11 Votos ,4.66 Puntuación
viciosos65 54 P
15  Artículos
Mi novia es más tonta que la tuya....   5/7/2012

Están tres amigos viendo un partido de fútbol. Cuando llega el descanso empiezan a hablar de sus cosas...

> Hombre 1: 'Jodeerrrr, mi novia es muy tonta... Me dice el otro día que se va de tiendas y venga a comprar, venga a comprar, y va y se compra cuatro ruedas!!!! La madre que la parió..... pero si no tiene cocheeeeee!!!!'

> Hombre 2: 'Uyyyy consuélate, porque creo que mi ...


4 Comentarios, 95 Vistas, 14 Votos ,5.22 Puntuación
viciosos65 54 P
15  Artículos
Más chistes   2/7/2012

En un metro en la hora punta, la gente va como sardinas en lata y una chica le dice a un tio : - Por favor, se podria apartar un poco? Tiene usted algo duro dentro del pantalon que me esta apretando el muslo. - Oh, perdon, es que llevo el sobre con mi paga. - Pues usted debe tener un trabajo cojonudo, porque le han aumentado el sueldo tres veces desde la ultima parada.

- Y a ti ...


0 Comentarios, 57 Vistas, 8 Votos ,4.41 Puntuación
viciosos65 54 P
15  Artículos
Confesión   1/7/2012

Una chica de pueblo en el confesionario, le dice al párroco que su novio le habia pedido que le hiciera una paja. Entonces el párroco le dijo que tenia que rezar diez Ave Marias y diez Padres Nuestros, pero sobre todo al salir, debía lavarse bien las manos con agua bendita. Lavandose las manos entra su amiga y le pregunta que hace, ella le cuenta la confesion, y entonces su amiga le dice: ...


0 Comentarios, 63 Vistas, 4 Votos ,3.25 Puntuación
MMMM CUANDO AL FIN TE ENCUENTRE ......   9/12/2011

Te poseeré..ese día o más tardar el siguiente..te llevarè a la cama sin pedirte permiso, me acercaré, tocaré todo tù cuerpo y te harè mìo..

Te dejaré con una enorme sensaciòn de cansancio y sentiràs voluntad de entregarte al màximo.

Lentamente te sentiràs erizado y te haré transpirar profundamente.

TE HARÉ ...



4 Comentarios, 100 Vistas, 18 Votos ,5.17 Puntuación
Ceros   6/10/2011

Van dos ceros por la calle y ven a un ocho en la acera de enfrente. Un cero le dice al otro: - !Mira ese qué chulo: con cinturón!


1 Comentarios, 48 Vistas, 5 Votos ,3.47 Puntuación
viciosos65 54 P
15  Artículos
El cura y la monja   6/6/2011

Cierta vez, un cura y una monja regresaban de una aldea hacia el convento.

Al caer la noche, vieron una cabaña en medio del camino y decidieron entrar para pernoctar y proseguir el viaje al siguiente día.

Al entrar a la cabaña, vieron que había una cama, apenas de pareja, y varias mantas en un armario.

El padre y la monja entraron y después de algunos segundos de ...


3 Comentarios, 155 Vistas, 16 Votos ,5.04 Puntuación
viciosos65 54 P
15  Artículos
Muy agudo...   4/6/2011

Y luego dicen que no hay gente “lista”, sin ser catedráticos.

Un joven estudiante de Derecho, habiendo suspendido el examen final, interpela a su severo catedrático - célebre por su aguda mente jurídica - y le pregunta:

- “Profesor, ¿entiende Ud. realmente todo lo referente a su asignatura?” - ”Creo que sí: de otro modo no sería catedrático ¿no le parece?” - ...


1 Comentarios, 89 Vistas, 12 Votos ,5.10 Puntuación
viciosos65 54 P
15  Artículos
El pie y el pene   1/6/2011

El pie mira para arriba y ve que el pené lo estaba mirando, entonces le pregunta: ¿Como andas?

El pene contesta: Como los ajos, siempre colgado cabeza abajo, y a ti ¿como te trata?

El pie le responde: “Excelente fíjate que por las mañanas para que no toque el suelo frío me pone unas sandalias, se mete a bañar me lava muy bien entre todos mis deditos, después me seca ...


2 Comentarios, 88 Vistas, 11 Votos ,4.10 Puntuación
linea1966 53 H
6  Artículos
Tres mujeres...   3/1/2011

Tres mujeres, una con un amante clandestino, la segunda con novio, y la tercera casada, deciden poner a prueba una técnica de seducción.

Deciden que las tres, esa misma noche, usarán bodies de cuero negro, medias negras de liga, tacones aguja de 20 centímetros, y una máscara negra para recibir a sus hombres.

Al día siguiente, se reúnen a comparar experiencias:

La ...


1 Comentarios, 160 Vistas, 14 Votos ,3.94 Puntuación
linea1966 53 H
6  Artículos
Tres hombres   2/1/2011

Estaban tres hombres en el infierno, a los cuales el demonio impuso tres penitencias:

1º Matar a un león a ostias. 2º Hacer el amor con una mujer 20 veces seguidas. 3º Tomarse 5 litros de orujo.

El que pasara estas tres pruebas se iba al cielo.

Primero entra un alemán con sus aires de grandeza y dice: A ver, tráiganme a la mujer. Empieza : 1, 2, 3, 4, 6, y sale ...


1 Comentarios, 92 Vistas, 10 Votos ,4.58 Puntuación
rm_PIRATASEX66 51 H
3  Artículos
ALGO DE HUMOR   23/9/2010

PORQUE NO SE LLEVAN MUJERES A LA LUNA(TODAVÍA)? R.- PORQUE TODAVÍA NO HAY NADA QUE LIMPIAR.

COMO SABEN CUANDO UN BEBE SERÁ BORRACHO? CUANDO PIDE LECHELADA Y CHUPON ON THE ROCKS. (LA LECHELADA VERSION INFANTIL DE MICHELADA)

EL DIZQUE ABOGADO DEFENSOR: EN UNA AUDIENCIA DONDE SE LE TOMABA DECLARACIÓN AL ACUSADO DE ROBO DE UN AIRE ACONDICIONADO, AL LLEGAR EL TURNO DE INTERROGAR ...


0 Comentarios, 57 Vistas, 4 Votos ,1.30 Puntuación
josmith5 57 H
1466  Artículos
it "pays" to be nice...   31/7/2010

A man returns home a day early from a business trip. It's after midnight. While en route home he asks the cabby if he would be a witness.

The man suspects his wife is having an affair and he wants to catch her in the act. For $100, the cabby agrees.

Quietly arriving home, the husband and cabby tip toe into the bedroom. The husband switches on the lights, yanks the blanket back ...


1 Comentarios, 12 Vistas, 3 Votos ,3.43 Puntuación
rm_lokotaker316 34 H
6  Artículos
QUE ES LO MAS GRACIOSO QUE LES HA PASADO TENIENDO SEXO...   28/7/2010

HOLA A TODOS... DIGANME...QUE ES LO MAS GRACIOSO QUE LES HA PASADO TENIENDO SEXO? EJEMPLO: TU PAREJA TE ESTABA BAILANDO SENSUALMENTE MIESTRA SE DESVISTE, Y EN UN TRASPIE SE CAE CHISTOSAMENTE....


2 Comentarios, 87 Vistas, 7 Votos ,4.31 Puntuación
danij1991 28 H
16  Artículos
Humor is your friend   27/7/2010

Humor is probably the key in a relationship, its makes the relation stable.The meaning of stable is something that i personally think is the feeling of being in a good mood, the atmosphere of being relaxed with your love as if you were with your best friend.


0 Comentarios, 3 Vistas, 0 Votos
Miculitosacayama 23 H
54  Artículos
A mis candidatos gays.   18/7/2010

Grasias por lerme y benvenido al club. Ahora contactame>>!{=}


0 Comentarios, 23 Vistas, 14 Votos ,3.94 Puntuación
joseangel1960 59 H
5  Artículos
Parejas disparejas   28/1/2010

Mucho se lee y se cometa acerca de la persona ideal como pareja. Las bases de datos de sitios como AmigosCalientes.com se diseñan optimizando las afinidades para satisfacción de los usuarios.

Pero, existe un mundo aparte del que no se nombra casi en asunto de gusto y ocmpatibilidad que frecuentemente llamamos las parejas disparejas.

¿Qué podemos considerar como pareja dispareja? Para ...


0 Comentarios, 23 Vistas, 2 Votos ,3.81 Puntuación
El dedo corazón   7/12/2009

Cuando en una relación, con gracía y salero te muestren ese dedo, enviandote a tomar por donde amargan los pepinos, tomatelo deportivamente. Eso de levantar el dedo corazón, aparece ya en Las Nubes, escrita cuatrocientos años antes de Cristo por Aristófanes. En esa comedia un "rústico" al que le hablan de un verso dáctilo (en griego, dedo) yergue el mayor y pregunta: "¿Cuál...? ...


0 Comentarios, 42 Vistas, 4 Votos ,4.02 Puntuación
incubo 40 H
5  Artículos
Heroicidades   26/7/2009

Superman volaba por el cielo. Iba muy necesitado pensando en que hacia siglos del ultimo polvo.

De pronto vio a la mujer maravilla tomando sol en la terraza sin ropa y con las piernas abiertas.

Superman dijo, esta es la mía, pero para que nadie me vea la voy a hacer rápida con mi super velocidad y nadie se dará cuenta de que fui yo.

Superman se tiró a toda velocidad ...


1 Comentarios, 41 Vistas, 4 Votos ,2.86 Puntuación
incubo 40 H
5  Artículos
Viejo verde busca   26/7/2009

chica ecologista.


0 Comentarios, 33 Vistas, 0 Votos
crazy_porty 48 H
63  Artículos‚ Puntuación 0.1
Cuando pedí la mano de mi novia   22/7/2009

Recuerdo el díaen que al fín me decidí y fuí a ver al papá de mi novia con la firme intención de pedir su mano.

Cuando llegué me abrio la puerta mi futuro suegro

"Estoy de suerte"-pensé.

-Buenas tardes sr. permitame prsentarme como el novio de su Miriam

-¡Ah! con que el novio de mi Miriam ...


0 Comentarios, 71 Vistas, 6 Votos ,3.93 Puntuación
rm_EskizX 29 H
12  Artículos
Alguna ves os habéis grabado mientras follábais?   1/7/2009

Yo personalmente no, pero tengo un amigo que es habitual a hacer todo tipo de perversiones y encima no se corta en ir después enseñándoselo a todo el mundo, en fin, hay gente sin nada de verguenza, que envidia xD.


0 Comentarios, 27 Vistas, 0 Votos
crazy_porty 48 H
63  Artículos‚ Puntuación 0.1
Mi exámen de la próstata   10/2/2009

Ayer fuí a consulta con el médico urólogo, para hacerme el exámen prostático, el cual yo sabía es muy importante para los hombres pero no sabía en que consistía. Al llegar me lo explicó el médico detalladamente, muy detalladamente

Quize rajarme pero ya no pude, después de unas preguntas me dio una bata que no me cubría nada De pronto vi sus manos, y eran muy ...


0 Comentarios, 45 Vistas, 6 Votos ,5.64 Puntuación
crazy_porty 48 H
63  Artículos‚ Puntuación 0.1
Un consejo para los que madrugan   26/1/2009

Par empezar bien el día, hoy me levanté temprano, me vestí lentamente, me preparé un cafecito, tomé mis palos de golf y me fuí silenciosamente para no despertar a mi esposa al garage, puse los palos en el carro y procedí a sacarlo, y ¡oh sorpresa! estaba una lluvia torrencial.

La calle completamente inundada, un viento gélido que soplaba como a 100 km/hr, entonces volví a meter ...


0 Comentarios, 40 Vistas, 5 Votos ,4.77 Puntuación
crazy_porty 48 H
63  Artículos‚ Puntuación 0.1
Diario de un trabajador   20/1/2009

Con motivo del trabajo sedentario y por consecuencia la acumulación de grasa en mi barriga, la empresa donde laboro me ofreció un servicio de entrenamiento personalizado en un reconocido y prestigioso gimnasio.

Ahí me asignaron a una entrenadora personalde nombre Nadia, chica escultural, 26 años , además modelo de ropa deportiva ...


0 Comentarios, 32 Vistas, 6 Votos ,5.93 Puntuación
crazy_porty 48 H
63  Artículos‚ Puntuación 0.1
Importaciones de reciclaje   1/1/2009

En cierta ocasión se encuentra en un restaurante un mexicano degustando su comida, al poco rato entra un estadounidense hacindo mucho ruido con su goma de mascar.

-¡Hey mexican friend! excuse me. ¿Uds comerse todo el pan?-pregunta sin dejar su goma de mascar.

-¡Por su puesto que si! -responde el mexicano con molestia por rl ruido que producia el tipo con su goma de mascar. ...


0 Comentarios, 23 Vistas, 6 Votos ,5.36 Puntuación
crazy_porty 48 H
63  Artículos‚ Puntuación 0.1
El lobo y el principe   18/12/2008

En cierta ocasión el príncipe de los cuentos salió en busca de la que habría de ser su esposa, asi, llego hasta donde estaba La Cenicienta a quién le preguntó:

-Cenicienta ¿te casarias conmigo?

-¡Por supuesto que si mi adorado príncipe

Entonces el príncipe se baja los pantalones y mostrandole su miembro le pregunta:

-¿Sabes que es esto Cenicienta? ...


0 Comentarios, 24 Vistas, 6 Votos ,5.64 Puntuación
crazy_porty 48 H
63  Artículos‚ Puntuación 0.1
Purificando los pecados   18/12/2008

En cierta ocasión se accidento un autobús donde viajaban solo monjas y la fatalidad hizo que todas perecieran.

Al llegar a las puertas del cielo las recibio San Pedro.

-Hijas para poder acceder al cielo tienen que liberease de los pecados cometidos en la tierra asi que una a una iran pasando- les dijo.

-¿Como te llamas? le pregunto ala primera monjita

-Soy ...


0 Comentarios, 29 Vistas, 7 Votos ,5.59 Puntuación
crazy_porty 48 H
63  Artículos‚ Puntuación 0.1
El diablo sabe mas por viejo que por diablo   11/12/2008

Para todos aquellos que piensen que cuando se llega a viejo se acaba todo lean esto:

En una ocasión en una granja habia un gallo ya viejo y con el corral lleno de gallinas a quienes ya no podía cumplirles su cometido.

El granjero al ver que su gallo ya no respondía decidio traer otro gallo mas joven; este al llegar al corral lo primero que hizo fue dirigirse al gallo viejo ...


0 Comentarios, 34 Vistas, 8 Votos ,5.56 Puntuación
crazy_porty 48 H
63  Artículos‚ Puntuación 0.1
El circulo del éxito de los hombres   9/12/2008

-A los 3 años el éxito es.....no hacerse pis en los pantalones.

-A los 12 años el éxito es.....tener muchos amigos.

-A los 17 años el éxito es.....tener licencia de manejo.

-A los 20 años el éxito es.....tener relaciones sexuales.

-A los 35 años el éxito es.....tener muchísimo dinero.

-A los 50 años el éxito es.....tener muchísimo ...


0 Comentarios, 26 Vistas, 7 Votos ,5.59 Puntuación
crazy_porty 48 H
63  Artículos‚ Puntuación 0.1
Los mandamientos del flojo   9/12/2008

1.-Se nace cansado y se vive para descansar.

2.-Ama a tu cama como a ti mismo.

3.-Descansa de día para que puedas dormir tranquilo de noche.

4.-Si ves que alguien descansa ¡¡ayudalo!!.

5.-El trabajo es sinonimo de cansancio.

6.-No hagas hoy lo que puedas hacer mañana.

7.-haz lo menos que puedas y deja que otros lo hagan.

8.-Nadie ...


0 Comentarios, 25 Vistas, 7 Votos ,5.33 Puntuación
crazy_porty 48 H
63  Artículos‚ Puntuación 0.1
Guía para ubicar a los amigos y........a otros (parte3-3)   8/12/2008

61.-IDIOTA ARIES: Solo 幨 es idiota, nadie mas lo merece. 62.-IDIOTA TAURO: Lo que tiene de lento, lo tiene de idiota (). 63.-IDIOTA GEMINIS: Es idiota por partida doble. 64.-IDIOTA CANCER: Se siente ofendido de cualquier idiotez. 65.-IDIOTA LEO: esta orgulloso de ser "el idota".

66.-IDIOTA VIRGO: Analisa constantemente el porque comete tantas idioteces. 67.-IDIOTA LIBRA: 燙oy ...


0 Comentarios, 38 Vistas, 9 Votos ,5.99 Puntuación
crazy_porty 48 H
63  Artículos‚ Puntuación 0.1
Guía para ubicar a los amigos y .......a otros mas (parte 2-3)   8/12/2008

31.-IDIOTA ENGAÑADO: Todos saben que es un idiota, menos él. 32.-IDIOTA AÑEJO: Con el tiempose ha ido haciendo mas idota. 33.-IDIOTA RADIACTIVO: Irradia idiotez por todos los poros. 34.-IDIOTA VIGOROSO: No se cansa de cometer idioteces. 35.-IDIOTA ECOLOGICO: Es idiota por naturaleza.

36.-IDIOTA PRECAVIDO: Solo es idiota por si acaso. 37.-IDIOTA MULTIFACETICO: Es aquel que entra en dos ...


0 Comentarios, 9 Vistas, 4 Votos ,5.57 Puntuación
crazy_porty 48 H
63  Artículos‚ Puntuación 0.1
Guía para ubicar a los amigos y ....... a otros mas (parte 1-3)   8/12/2008

1.-IDIOTA OPTIMISTA: Cree que no es idiota. 2.-IDIOTA PESIMISTA: Cree que solo el es idiota. 3.-IDIOTA TELESCOPICO: desde lejos se le nota lo idiota. 4.-IDIOTA FOSFORESCENTE: Hasta en la obscuridad se le nota lo idiota. 5.-IDIOTA APLICADO: Constantemente aprende nuevas idioteces.

6.-IDIOTA ESFERICO: Por el lado que se le vea es un perfecto idiota. 7.-IDIOTA LABORIOSO: Todo el día se la ...


0 Comentarios, 13 Vistas, 5 Votos ,5.75 Puntuación
como robar   30/11/2008

Una dama de buen ver (de cuerpo y de esos kilos y kilos de joyas que tiene) pasea por las calles y una sombra empuñando una pistola grita.

-¡dame la pasta! ¡zorra!

-yiahhhh, kiaaaaaa ‒ grita la chica dando golpes de Jeet kune do.

Resultado, 5 meses de hospital y 2 años de prisión por intentar atracar a una "pobre e indefensa chica". ...



0 Comentarios, 14 Vistas, 2 Votos ,2.42 Puntuación
Político vs.    30/11/2008

Amanda, una que trabaja en el parque del retiro, es una mujer de 25 años de hermosas formas y mirada triste, esta casada y es madre de dos hijos.

De repente ve como se acerca un coche, una limusina, los ojos de Amanda brillan ilusionados, si se lo trabajaba bien, no tendría problemas en todo el mes.

Para su sorpresa, bajó Pedro, uno de los gobernantes del país ...



0 Comentarios, 18 Vistas, 1 Votos ,5.00 Puntuación
josmith5 57 H
1466  Artículos
men and women   9/5/2008

(just because i am posting this and found it funny, doesnt mean i totally agree with the underlaying message )



Oil Change instructions for Women :

1) Pull up to Jiffy Lube when the mileage reaches 3000 miles since the last oil change. 2) Drink a cup of coffee. 3) 15 minutes later, write a check and leave with a properly maintained vehicle. Money spent: Oil Change: ...


0 Comentarios, 1 Vistas, 0 Votos
sexoexplorador2 58 H
18  Artículos
Desgracia   31/1/2008

Choca un, carro con un poste. Se baja un hombre cubierto de sangre y mirando hacia su carro le dice a un curioso que se habia acercado -ho! Dios que desgracia! -No te preocupes le cntesta el otro, lo bueno es que te salvaste, por el carro te compras otro y ya, -no pero mira adrentro -haa lo siento por la rubia pero no te preocupes hay ...


0 Comentarios, 46 Vistas, 3 Votos ,2.45 Puntuación
Atulado_siempre 63 H
6  Artículos
Cuidado con los e-mail   16/1/2008

La siguiente historia es real, le pasó al primo de Gonzalo Pufos y demuestra que hay que cerciorarse de las direcciones de correo electrónico antes de enviar uno para evitar malos entendidos o males mayores. Un hombre dejó las nevadas calles de Chicago para pasar unas felices vacaciones en la soleada Florida. Su esposa estaba en viaje de negocios y habían planeado ...


0 Comentarios, 131 Vistas, 8 Votos ,4.41 Puntuación
Qué sugerente...   14/11/2007

Amor, humor...En fin, vidas paralelas, emociones infinitas...Pero, seamos sinceros, ¿cuántos de vosotros recurren a la risa en medio del acto...?No, no:hablo de vosotros...


0 Comentarios, 20 Vistas, 1 Votos ,1.10 Puntuación
UN BUEN SACERDOTE   29/8/2007

Estaba un sacerdote manejando hacia su parroquia y en la carretera se encuentra con una monja conocida, para y le dice: "Madre, suba que la llevo al convento". La monja sube y se sienta en el asiento del copiloto, hace un cruce de piernas y el habito se le abre un poquito y se le ve la pierna. El padre se le queda mirando y sigue manejando, al rato le toca la pierna y la monja le dice: "Padre ...


0 Comentarios, 178 Vistas, 19 Votos ,4.97 Puntuación
Fenix_en_Llama 41 H
2  Artículos
"Dieciciete Setenta"   30/7/2007

Una pareja de viejitos estaban acostados listos para dormir, cuando de repente de un sobresalto el viejito mira con los ojos muy abiertos y emocionado a la viejita...Ella nota q el se ha abalanzado sobre ella y le pregunta: - "Pepe, que te sucede mijo..." Pepe descontroladamente emocionado le contestaDieciciete Setenta...!" -"Que es eso Pepe, un número de telefono?" -"No! Dieciciete ...


0 Comentarios, 70 Vistas, 8 Votos ,4.41 Puntuación
LA VASECTOMIA   25/5/2007

>> >> > Dos hombres llegaron a la sala del medico para su vasectomía. >La enfermera verifico sus nombres y les entrego una bata para que se cambiaran, a los pocos minutos regreso y acercándose a uno de los hombres, le abrió la bata, le metió la mano entre las piernas y comenzó a masturbarlo. > El hombre sorprendido pregunto: "Que diablos hace usted?"

> >>> >> > Ella le explica que ...


0 Comentarios, 111 Vistas, 10 Votos ,5.38 Puntuación
mamachonga69 48 M
29  Artículos
Minutos de Sarcasmo!   20/4/2007

Él: No sé porque usas sostén; no tienes nada que poner en él. Ella: Tú usas calzoncillos, ¿no?.

Él: Me amas solo porque mi padre me dejó una fortuna. Ella: No, querido. Yo te amaría sin importar quien te la dejó.

Ella: ¿Cómo es que vienes a casa medio borracho?. Él: No es mi culpa; se me acabó el dinero.

...


4 Comentarios, 212 Vistas, 24 Votos ,6.65 Puntuación
beduino99 52 H
10  Artículos
Chiste Familiar   20/11/2006

En una reunión familiar, uno de los muchos tíos presentes le pregunta a su joven sobrina que está a punto de casarse: - Y bien, mi´jita, ¿Cómo va lo de la boda? Ella contesta compungida: - Ay tío, estoy nerviosísima. Me sudan mucho las manos, no puedo dormir. Lo que pasa es que no tengo nada de experiencia y no sé qué voy a hacer. - Hombre, hijita, es muy ; la noche de bodas ...


0 Comentarios, 99 Vistas, 6 Votos ,3.08 Puntuación
rm_salsabroso 39 H
1  Artículo
la paletita y la casada... jajajajajaja   4/11/2006

es otro mas de pepito, pero para que te rias intenta adivinar.... jajajajaj... y dice asi:estaba pepito sentado en el salon cuando la maestra le pregunta haber saben contar y responden si maestra bien a ver pedrito si tienes 2 piedras y te dan 1 cuantas son son 3 maestra, muy bien, a ver pablito si tienes 4 peces en nuna charola y se van 3 cuantos te quedan 1 maestra, muy bien y le toca ...


0 Comentarios, 143 Vistas, 3 Votos ,2.45 Puntuación
rm_Legolas_17cm 30 H
2  Artículos
El oso y el conejo   6/6/2006

Habia una vez en un bosque un oso y un conejo q se encontraron una lampara, de la lampara salio un genio y les dijo q les concederia 3 deseos a cada uno.Primero pidio el oso: Deseo q todos los osos del bosque sean hembras. Y el genio se lo concede, turno del conejo: Deseo una moto de alta cilindrada. Y el genio se la concede, turno del oso: Deseo q todos los osos del pais sean ...


1 Comentarios, 13197 Vistas, 851 Votos ,2.47 Puntuación
adorable_ladron 51 H
0  Artículos
EL LORO   29/11/2005

Un tipo que decide comprar una mascota ve a un loro colgando, cabeza abajo, de un palo; se le queda mirando y dice en voz alta: <br> "Vaya, ¿qué le habrá pasado a este loro?" <br> "Yo nací así: soy un loro sin patas", dice el ave. <br> "¡Je, je! Me pareció como si este pájaro hubiera entendido lo que dije y me hubiera contestado". <br> ...


0 Comentarios, 253 Vistas, 13 Votos ,5.32 Puntuación
LameClitorisVen 47 H
2  Artículos
MI PRIMA QUERÍA QUE ME LA COGIERA CON LA NARIZ...   3/10/2005

Mi prima Mariela hoy cumple 30 años...y cada vez que se acuerda de esto que les voy a contar le dan ataques de risa mezclados con un aumento explosivo de la líbido...a mí también me sucede lo mismo...y no es para menos...En aquel momento ella tenía 15 años y yo 19...estábamos de vacaciones familiares en la playa, en casa de mi abuelo... <br> ....Desde que mi prima Mariela ...


0 Comentarios, 452 Vistas, 16 Votos ,4.74 Puntuación
rm_Esporadico05 39 H
13  Artículos
chistecilllo   18/7/2005

Esto es un sordo mudo que entra en una farmacia para comprar condones, y al desesperarse por no entenderse con el farmaceutico, se saca la polla y pones 20€ en el mostrador, en eso que pasa uno hombre por la calle, y ve eso, y dice yo tengo mas, entra rapidamente y hace lo mismo, se la saca y pone 20€, a todo esto que el farmaceutico, un hombre negro, se saca su pollon encima del ...


0 Comentarios, 299 Vistas, 8 Votos ,2.78 Puntuación
sexoexplorador2 58 H
18  Artículos
El mango   20/4/2005

Entra Pepito corriendo a la cocina de su casa y le dice a su Mama: Mama! Mama! otra ves volvio mi Papa a comer fruta a escondidas! Como que a escondidas? si! si! lo acabo de ver salir del cuarto de la criada diciendo: ay que rico mango me acabo de aventar!


0 Comentarios, 325 Vistas, 3 Votos ,1.96 Puntuación
sexoexplorador2 58 H
18  Artículos
DE CHUPADA A CHUPADA   20/3/2005

Curioso el , ve como Mama y Papa se encierran en el dormitorio, se asoma por la cerradura y exclama! ahhh! Mama y a mi poque me reganas porque me chupo el dedo?


0 Comentarios, 154 Vistas, 3 Votos ,2.45 Puntuación
sexoexplorador2 58 H
18  Artículos
Mujeres   19/3/2005

Porque estan mas bonitas las mujeres que los hmbres? Porque Dios hiso alos hombres al tanteo, y las mujeres con regla.


0 Comentarios, 111 Vistas, 3 Votos ,2.45 Puntuación
sexoexplorador2 58 H
18  Artículos
EL SABOR   16/3/2005

Paquita- Mama porque Pepito tiene su pajarito como mani? Mama- porque el todavia es chiquito, cuando el cresca, tambien su pajarito lecresera. Paquita- No si no pregunto por lo chiquito si no por lo saladito.


0 Comentarios, 140 Vistas, 7 Votos ,1.77 Puntuación
sexoexplorador2 58 H
18  Artículos
LAS VOCALES   17/2/2005

Estaba una ves Pepito en la escuela y la maestra le dice _A ver Pepito dime las vocales _No me las se maestra _Bueno ven a mi casa a las 5:00 Ya va Pepito entra y le dice la maestra Ven Pepito sube a mi cuarto Ya sube y la maestra se quita la blusa ...


0 Comentarios, 179 Vistas, 7 Votos ,2.02 Puntuación
sexoexplorador2 58 H
18  Artículos
Mas de Pepito   11/2/2005

A ver Pepito. Que era tu Papa? Pregunta la maestra... Cura maestra... Bueno Pepito y que era tu Mama? Monja mestra... Ahhh, ya entiendo entonces tus Padres estavan dedicados a la vida religiosa y colgaron los habitos... ...


0 Comentarios, 348 Vistas, 9 Votos ,1.93 Puntuación
sexoexplorador2 58 H
18  Artículos
PEPITO   11/2/2005

Pepito le pregunta su amiguita --sabes como se hasen los bebes? No no lo se Y Pepito le explica: Pues mira el Papa pone la semilla en la vagina de la Mama. Y luego?" Luego se la empuja con la polla.


0 Comentarios, 368 Vistas, 10 Votos ,0.80 Puntuación
sexoexplorador2 58 H
18  Artículos
UNO DE MEXICANOS   10/2/2005

Estabban en un desierto sin nada que comer Un estaudinense, un frances y un mexicano como ya llevaban 3 dias sin comer y gritaban de hambre, el americano dijo: Como los americanos somos valerosos y vuenos, yo me voy a sacrificar para que ustedes coman. Y entonces saco una daga y con ella se corto una pierna, y asi pudieron comer ...


0 Comentarios, 176 Vistas, 4 Votos ,2.47 Puntuación
Arcangel_Vzla 40 H
16  Artículos
Chistes Excelentes.   21/12/2004

1.- El Arca de Noé fue construída por Amateurs, el Titanic por Técnicos Profesionales. Tú decides dónde carajo subirte. <br> 2.-Si estamos en lo alto de un rascacielos y empujamos a Superman, a Batman, a un negro y a una mujer super inteligente. ¿Quién llega primero?... El negro, obviamente, porque los demás son personajes de ciencia ficción =) <br> 3.-Era tan ...


0 Comentarios, 106 Vistas, 7 Votos ,1.51 Puntuación
rm_tebuscoati58 59 H
3  Artículos
esto si que es gracioso   26/9/2004

esperaba a mi novia en mi casa, para ello le tube que dar dinero a mi hermana para que saliera a bailar y no viniera en toda la noche, acto seguido prepare mi cuarto , luz negra , musica de pink floyd, saumerios por todos lados , en fin todo muy romantico y yo super exitado ya que me habia dicho que me daria el culo, sono el timbre y aparecio ella ...diosa total...y trajo su maquinita de ...


0 Comentarios, 79 Vistas, 15 Votos ,1.91 Puntuación
el_ruso2004 43 H
1  Artículo
Sexo con pescaditos   5/4/2004

En una oportunidad mi pareja y yo nos fuimos a la playa pues teniamos algun tiempo que no ibamos...a mi personalmente me atrae mucho la idea de tener sexo en la playa delante de los extraños, pero eso no siempre se puede. Esa vez fuimos con mi familia y algunos amigos ytodos estabamos muy animados; nosotros nos fuimos apartando del grupo conforme pasaron las horas y nos metimos al agua; ...


0 Comentarios, 103 Vistas, 30 Votos ,6.67 Puntuación
chiste   11/3/2004

20 Veces... Estaban en una disco un hombre y una mujer conversando, el hombre en evidente afán de conquistar a la mujer. Cuando la charla se hizo más intima y comenzaron a besarse el hombre le dijo: - "¿Sabías que puedo hacer el amor 20 veces en una misma noche?" La muchacha abre los ojos bien grandes y se le escapa una sonrisa, entonces le contesta: - "Si es cierto, ¿qué ...


0 Comentarios, 74 Vistas, 26 Votos ,5.83 Puntuación
juan botones   11/3/2004

Juan Botones... Un profesor pasando lista: Carlos Martínez ¡Presente! Raúl Lozano ¡Presente! Pablo Ríos ¡Presente! Juan Botones ¡Se me caen los pantalones! Al día siguiente vuelve a pasar lista Pablo Ríos ¡Presente! Juan Botones ¡Se me caen los pantalones! Y bueno, el profesor enojado piensa que no puede ser, que ese todos los días haga lo mismo. ...


0 Comentarios, 52 Vistas, 16 Votos ,4.30 Puntuación
superman   11/3/2004

CERVEZA MAGICA <br> Llega una chava a un Bar y se encuentra a un tipo bastante atractivo en la barra, se le acerca y le pregunta que esta tomando. - Cerveza Magica <br> , le contesta. Ella cree que el esta loco y se va a dar una vuelta en el Bar, pero 20 minutos despues de ver que no hay nada mejor, decide regresar a platicar con él. - Esa no es ...


0 Comentarios, 56 Vistas, 21 Votos ,5.35 Puntuación
bigcock6061330 39 H
2  Artículos‚ Puntuación 4.1
I love white woman   20/10/2019

I prefer white woman, I love my black woman but I also love white woman because they are more freakier.


0 Comentarios, 1 Vistas, 1 Votos ,2.40 Puntuación
Daddi19915076 28 H
3  Artículos
Funny   10/10/2019

If its easy take it twice


1 Comentarios, 15 Vistas, 12 Votos ,1.56 Puntuación
AngloSwiss_CH 72 H
2  Artículos
In the family way   4/10/2019

This is the story of a young lawyer who always spent his summer vacation at the same place by the sea. He always went to the same boarding house because the daughter of the hotel looked good enough to eat. Naturally, as the lawyer was handsome and with the summer heat helping, the two young people quickly went from feelings to actions. The next year, the lawyer found his sweetheart, and was ...


1 Comentarios, 15 Vistas, 7 Votos ,3.04 Puntuación
Bigdeemikeh2 32 H
9  Artículos‚ Puntuación 6.0
Living by the three F's.   29/9/2019

If it floats, flys or fucks. Rent it don't buy it. Anyone else live by this?


1 Comentarios, 10 Vistas, 9 Votos ,2.57 Puntuación
Eatitupnbeatit44 33 H
10  Artículos
Try to have fun   23/9/2019

Keep your woman happy n always eat her pussy before you fuck her


4 Comentarios, 28 Vistas, 16 Votos ,3.27 Puntuación
PrimeAgeGuy 41 H
5  Artículos
And what do points make...   21/9/2019

Prizes


0 Comentarios, 11 Vistas, 7 Votos ,2.02 Puntuación
Pullmytrigger55 49 H
12  Artículos
Free bonus   18/9/2019

I remember AmigosCalientes.com use to give u credits or 40 day gold or something


2 Comentarios, 23 Vistas, 17 Votos ,1.71 Puntuación
Mikejones789789 38 H
8  Artículos‚ Puntuación 1.0
Anal sex   18/9/2019

Is it just me or is anyone else worried about being s#$T on


5 Comentarios, 35 Vistas, 18 Votos ,2.44 Puntuación
Pantyplaywithus 51 P
1  Artículo
A must   17/9/2019

U dont laugh u wont make it plain and simplesimple


1 Comentarios, 22 Vistas, 18 Votos ,2.58 Puntuación
Mugz6988 40 H
7  Artículos‚ Puntuación 4.1
fun is good   28/8/2019

Nigel and Stephen, are keen fishermen and wine drinkers; here you can see a photo taken while they are enjoying some night fishing while on holiday, with their wives, in Poitou-Charente, France, last year. <br><br> Slurping a large Bordeaux Supérieur, Nigel announces, 'I think I'm going to divorce my wife, she hasn't spoken to me in eighteen months.' ...


2 Comentarios, 41 Vistas, 26 Votos ,2.59 Puntuación
sonrising54 54 H
9  Artículos‚ Puntuación 4.0
Blind Date   24/8/2019

I had a blind date once. A friend of mine asked take his g/f's sister. I agreed. So I went her place get her. When she opened the door she was 5ft tall and weighed about 350lbs. I thought okay. So we went a nice restaurant. After sitting down she looked at the menu intently. I thought okay. Then she said can I pick what I want. I said sure. She ordered 3 complete meals. The waiter ...


2 Comentarios, 57 Vistas, 24 Votos ,2.22 Puntuación
SexOnMyMindWithU 48 H
3  Artículos
Was hoping to get caught and did! Now I smile :-)   19/8/2019

So the other night my lady friend and I had a pit fire and got drunk at her place at her farm. I had an idea to pop my tent that night at her place. So that is what I did before we started to drink and pit fire. Many times before her and I have done this and we end up naked enjoying each other before the night ended. So as the night went on we both got really drunk and had one hell of a good ...


4 Comentarios, 70 Vistas, 29 Votos ,3.04 Puntuación
Kevint2457 24 H
1  Artículo
Sense of humor   17/8/2019

relationships where both individuals don’t have a good sense of humor never seem work. Understand you have take you relationship serious but making each other laugh and smile helps build and sustain a good relationship.


3 Comentarios, 35 Vistas, 22 Votos ,3.25 Puntuación
MagicalHungDevil 26 H
1  Artículo
booty   7/8/2019

o booty how I chase thee I only did this for my points yee I don't want to trespass I just want to fuck that ass good people i love you with that said throu


1 Comentarios, 25 Vistas, 21 Votos ,2.63 Puntuación
kissableleo66 67 H
6  Artículos
Me too   27/7/2019

Everyone is here for the points.


1 Comentarios, 33 Vistas, 24 Votos ,3.81 Puntuación
rdhair44 60 H
95  Artículos
Peter at the gate.   21/6/2019

comes to gates of Heaven telling Peter about her husband and their yard, Peter tells her you didn't need a man , you needed a bull , you are a milking cow.


3 Comentarios, 59 Vistas, 33 Votos ,2.32 Puntuación
Summernites88 43 P
7  Artículos
Loosen up   10/6/2019

Getting ready for a meet...loosen up. Remember your here for fun. Although keeping our nerves in check is not easy. So lighten up and have the most fun imaginable.


8 Comentarios, 124 Vistas, 79 Votos ,5.17 Puntuación
dess36 48 H
136  Artículos‚ Puntuación 2.9
I like   29/5/2019

I like to do it in public places, but of morbid people ho like to look, to me as you can see in my photos, I love it...


6 Comentarios, 71 Vistas, 21 Votos ,1.52 Puntuación
Lickin805 29 H
5  Artículos
anyone ever...   4/5/2019

slap a girls ass while your 69ing and then get the weird feeling like a you just disturbed a bunch of poop particles that are now falling down onto your face...probably not but I swear i've felt dusting before and it really pulls you out of the moment and makes you hesitant to slap that ass again...


2 Comentarios, 57 Vistas, 42 Votos ,0.93 Puntuación
brbog 64 H
16  Artículos
MRS Smith   3/5/2019

The doctor called Mrs Smith and her husband answered The doctor said mister Smith I thunk we got your wife's test result mixed with the wrong Mrs Smith 's not good What can we do The doctor said one Mrs Smith has dementcha and the other has syphilis .So hears what you can do to help us take your wife to the edge of town and drop her off. If she comes back home DONT fuck her


0 Comentarios, 43 Vistas, 28 Votos ,2.32 Puntuación
BoyFreaky22 25 H
3  Artículos
Said "No Thank You"   8/4/2019

One night, drinking at my friends, I decided to invite a girl friend over to partake. As the night went on, and her drooling over me, things started to die down and get quiet. Just as the room got silent, my girl friend leaned over and yelled "LET'S FUCK". Me being shy, politely said "No thank you". The next week, the same girl friend called me up and asked me if I would ...


2 Comentarios, 102 Vistas, 46 Votos ,3.66 Puntuación
Fully_Loaded_100 31 H
6  Artículos
What's the funniest thing that's happened to you during sex?   7/4/2019

I once broke the bed right before climax.. went right through it!


0 Comentarios, 58 Vistas, 37 Votos ,3.15 Puntuación
Sex Stories   23/3/2019

"Most people can probably agree sex is pretty great—at least, until something gross and unexpected happens and totally kills the mood. If you look back, you can probably think of at least a few scenarios where something disgusting happened in bed—something that, if you weren't pants-less, would have you running for the door at lightning speed. <br><br> For your ...


2 Comentarios, 69 Vistas, 40 Votos ,1.88 Puntuación
Alakabam92 27 H
9  Artículos
Points   17/2/2019

Just here for the points


8 Comentarios, 84 Vistas, 55 Votos ,4.95 Puntuación
man4nightfun2 49 H
4  Artículos
mothers   9/1/2019

One afternoon a man came home from work to find total mayhem in his house. His three children were outside, still in their pajamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn all around the front yard. <br><br> The door of his wife’s car was open, as was the front door to the house. Proceeding into the entry, he found an even bigger mess. A lamp had been knocked ...


4 Comentarios, 119 Vistas, 48 Votos ,3.37 Puntuación
man4nightfun2 49 H
4  Artículos
mothers   9/1/2019

One afternoon a man came home from work to find total mayhem in his house. His three children were outside, still in their pajamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn all around the front yard. <br><br> The door of his wife’s car was open, as was the front door to the house. Proceeding into the entry, he found an even bigger mess. A lamp had been knocked ...


5 Comentarios, 71 Vistas, 36 Votos ,2.89 Puntuación
man4nightfun2 49 H
4  Artículos
meet you in heaven   9/1/2019

After a long illness, a woman died and arrived at the Gates of Heaven. While she was waiting for Saint Peter to greet her, she peeked through the Gates. She saw a beautiful banquet table. Sitting all around were her parents and all the other people she had loved and who had died before her. They saw her and began calling greetings to her — “Hello” “How are you! We’ve been waiting for ...


3 Comentarios, 77 Vistas, 31 Votos ,3.53 Puntuación
man4nightfun2 49 H
4  Artículos
meet you in heaven   9/1/2019

After a long illness, a woman died and arrived at the Gates of Heaven. While she was waiting for Saint Peter to greet her, she peeked through the Gates. She saw a beautiful banquet table. Sitting all around were her parents and all the other people she had loved and who had died before her. They saw her and began calling greetings to her — “Hello” “How are you! We’ve been waiting for ...


1 Comentarios, 41 Vistas, 22 Votos ,3.49 Puntuación
6ft3intallBBC 26 H
4  Artículos
sex   6/1/2019

https://www.healthywomen.org/content/article/understanding-your-sex-drive-when-one-you-wants-it-more?context=healthcenter/60&context_title=60&context_description=


1 Comentarios, 30 Vistas, 19 Votos ,0.75 Puntuación
MrInkyArms 43 H
2  Artículos
In a perfect world   27/11/2018

Orgies!


2 Comentarios, 41 Vistas, 33 Votos ,2.05 Puntuación
fun4we2or3 43 H
8  Artículos
the funniest thing you ever had happen while playing with a partner   21/11/2018

I would be interested in hearing from others as to the funniest thing that has ever happened ..... in the moment..


6 Comentarios, 82 Vistas, 36 Votos ,3.76 Puntuación
trellos4u2 33 H
9  Artículos
wtf   5/10/2018

for fun or not


5 Comentarios, 59 Vistas, 43 Votos ,3.54 Puntuación
LongerDongSilvrs 32 H
1  Artículo
asdfkfsdk;fa;   29/8/2018

lmdfgagf


1 Comentarios, 46 Vistas, 42 Votos ,2.70 Puntuación
shaggy19563 63 H
1  Artículo
WOW won't believe this.   12/7/2018

Well I was married to a redheaded German, Irish, Indian gal for over ten years. If I could write a book about those years not sure how to put the book on the stands. Fact, fiction, or your not going to believe this shit. The sex life I really miss but if your old enough to remember the 16 ounce Pepsi glass bottles that came in 8 packs I think she could hit a fly off a fence post at about 50 yards ...


2 Comentarios, 104 Vistas, 58 Votos ,3.04 Puntuación
UncutLVRJulio 30 H
5  Artículos
Relationship Clichés: What They Really Mean   5/7/2018

Regardless of who you date, no matter how long the relationship lasts; chances are you’ll hear some (if not all) of these favorites. Here’s what they really mean. <br><br> “Sometimes the person you want the most is the person you are best without.” I like you but we DO NOT get along. <br><br> “Everything is going to be OK. Maybe not now or ...


8 Comentarios, 178 Vistas, 92 Votos ,5.17 Puntuación
lookn4yu2day 68 H
18  Artículos
It's ALL Good!   28/6/2018

In a relationship? Is it a permanent marriage type? Serious one such as being engaged? Starting one as in just getting to know each other? <br><br> No matter the status of the relationship.... ya gotta keep all in perspective. Nothing.... there should be nothing too serious so as to not be able to communicate about and keep things "light." There is a need to ...


1 Comentarios, 57 Vistas, 43 Votos ,3.23 Puntuación
I am 52 years Bengali from kolkata do job a very simple man looking for a real friend if u like call   4/5/2018

I am 52 years Bengali from kolkata do job a very simple man looking for a real friend if u like call me 9734 eight 52353I am 52 years Bengali from kolkata do job a very simple man looking for a real friend if u like call me 9734 eight 52353I am 52 years Bengali from kolkata do job a very simple man looking for a real friend if u like call me 9734 eight 52353I am 52 years Bengali from kolkata ...


0 Comentarios, 50 Vistas, 41 Votos ,1.28 Puntuación
seriously ,that is considered bisexual ? I am wondering.   18/4/2018

Bisexual seems like a simple term that is easy to understand. But , is it really that simple to declare some a bisexual? Does having participated in a 3 way with another of the same sex make some a bisexual? Does intimate contact with the same sex define the sexuality , or is it the intent of the parties involved. I get a lot of men that want to give oral sex, but If I accept , am I now a ...


9 Comentarios, 120 Vistas, 43 Votos ,4.22 Puntuación
flicker3210 31 H
4  Artículos
Chewing (Dick) Gum   11/4/2018

I was very young at that time, still in my teens. I was dating a girl and we agreed to a blowjob before moving onto actual sex. She was giving me a nice head and I was enjoying thoroughly as this was the first time I was receiving . She, at the same time was chewing a gum. When she took out my dick from her mouth there was this white substance on its head. She was feeling apologetic that she had ...


1 Comentarios, 106 Vistas, 52 Votos ,3.35 Puntuación
Hangry33 49 H
2  Artículos
How many dick pics should i post   14/3/2018

What is the ratio regular pics to dic picks that I should have ... like 3 regular pics to 1 dic pic or 3 dic pics to one regular pic <br><br> Also should I use my own dic ? Or a random dic on the internet ? Or a celebrity dic ? <br><br> Just trying to get it right !


3 Comentarios, 63 Vistas, 37 Votos ,3.66 Puntuación
SparePrickBH 57 H
6  Artículos
My friend's antics with crab potion   3/2/2018

This is an old tale but still makes me laugh when I'm reminded of it. <br><br> We were in our 20's and enjoying life as young lads do, including one drunken weekend of partying which included sharing a girl who kindly thanked us with a dose of crabs. <br><br> Apparently, he knew his previous landlady had a bottle of the cure and I drove him over to collect it. ...


0 Comentarios, 97 Vistas, 49 Votos ,4.11 Puntuación
msheidileann 39 M
1  Artículo
How would you feel if you had a fart sucked right. out of your butt?   15/12/2017

It has been some time since the incident, but I remember it like it just happened today and I am still in shock. <br><br> We were being hosted at a nicer Motel 6 than I had seen ever, it had to be a new construction. Be mindful that my fiance and I are still relatively new to the swing of things and myself even brand new. The whole idea of fucking other men in front of my fiance, ...


11 Comentarios, 243 Vistas, 93 Votos ,5.03 Puntuación
DOM_Mann80 38 H
6  Artículos
Does humor has priority for you in a relationship ?   17/11/2017

Does humor has priority for you in a relationship ?


3 Comentarios, 52 Vistas, 36 Votos ,5.31 Puntuación
Me enamora ...   26/10/2017

Me enamora la gente que dice lo que piensa y que realmente piensa lo que dice <br><br> . Que no es . La que defiende sus ideas y sus emociones, porque son suyas y sinceras. <br><br> Pero sin imponerlas a los demás, sin juzgar a quien piensa diferente <br><br> y sin compararse con quien no las comparte.


2 Comentarios, 21 Vistas, 18 Votos ,2.99 Puntuación
slicmike 31 H
1  Artículo
AWKWARD SITUATION   19/9/2017

I was with my chick at a bar when we met up with her ex husband's friend with his chick. I said hello to him and he said, 'Hey, ya gotta big dick?" I laughed at first and sat down. <br><br> He was one of those egotistical dudes that think there on top of the world because he has tattoos, motorcycle, and a good paying job. He looked like Ray Liotta from ...


5 Comentarios, 111 Vistas, 25 Votos ,3.68 Puntuación
jr42468 52 H
24  Artículos
you have to be funny   13/9/2017

i think that all relationships have to have a good sense of humor it lightens the mood sometimes when tensions are high


1 Comentarios, 34 Vistas, 17 Votos ,3.97 Puntuación
stevong 41 H
3  Artículos
Wolf of Pig   20/8/2017

[image1] The Three Little Pigs Once upon a time there were three little pigs. When they grew up, they left their parents to live their first winter by themselves. Autumn came and it began raining. The three little pigs started to feel they needed a real house to live in. They talked about how to build a house and prepare for the coming winter, but each decided ...


3 Comentarios, 72 Vistas, 20 Votos ,4.02 Puntuación
freedom   14/8/2017

commitment = loss of freedom lol!!!


0 Comentarios, 22 Vistas, 18 Votos ,5.44 Puntuación
freedom   4/7/2017

freedom compromises after commitment


0 Comentarios, 8 Vistas, 4 Votos ,2.08 Puntuación
Porn Is a Crucial Part of My Relationship   20/5/2017

I love porn. I'm not embarrassed to say it. I'm not picky about where I watch it. Sometimes I watch it in bed while my boyfriend's at home. Other times I watch it on our couch when I need a break from my three jobs and he is still at work. And my taste runs the gamut, though I tend to veer towards watching public sex and threesomes.

Oh, and maybe you caught this: I have a boyfriend. ...


1 Comentarios, 69 Vistas, 17 Votos ,4.12 Puntuación
NaughtyNights125 29 H
1  Artículo
People who do not understand other people   30/4/2017

So I work with this guy who decided the best way for him to find the girl of his dreams is to try to meet someone, from another country, online. He had a picture of this girl he was talking to and was so happy... Only problem was when he showed me it was a picture of a pornstar. Aside from this she also claimed to be in South Africa, yeah that country known for being terrible, and needed money ...


2 Comentarios, 57 Vistas, 17 Votos ,2.84 Puntuación
Magdalena69n 40 M
1  Artículo
Love Line   2/4/2017

Love line with Adam needs to come back so bad...guys you need to listen.


5 Comentarios, 69 Vistas, 39 Votos ,2.67 Puntuación
Married or Single   25/3/2017

I was wondering what type of situation most women prefer here. When one is involved, do you prefer to find someone else who is also in a relationship or is preferable to find a single man. What do the single women here prefer. I like a drama free situation with someone fun and outgoing, but I am single and keep my options open.


5 Comentarios, 56 Vistas, 22 Votos ,4.57 Puntuación
autopalm77 47 H
7  Artículos
Haaaaachu....!!!!   17/11/2016

A woman constantly keeps sneezing and goes to see the doctor. She tells him, "Doctor, I constantly keep sneezing, and every time I sneeze, I have an orgasm." The doctor asks, "What are you doing for it?" The woman replies, "Sniffing pepper."


6 Comentarios, 89 Vistas, 28 Votos ,4.78 Puntuación
MsCarlalee 56 T
9  Artículos
who can you trust   8/11/2016

Two couples were playing cards. Jeff accidentally dropped some cards on the floor. When he bent down under the table to pick them up, he noticed that Dave's wife, Sandy, was not wearing any underwear! Shocked by this, Jeff hit his head on the table and emerged red-faced.

Later when Jeff went to the kitchen to get some refreshments Sandy followed him and asked, "Did you see anything under ...


6 Comentarios, 270 Vistas, 26 Votos ,5.94 Puntuación
rm_BIGYODAG2 65 H
24  Artículos
Drunk   30/9/2016

Three guys are drinking in a bar when a drunk comes in, staggers up to the counter, and points at the guy in the middle, shouting, "Your mom's the best sex in town! Great Pussy!"

Everyone expects a fight, but the younger dude ignores him, so the drunk wanders off and bellies up to the bar at the far end.

Ten minutes later, the old drunk comes back, points at the same guy, and ...


3 Comentarios, 129 Vistas, 11 Votos ,4.10 Puntuación
BBCheadlover 49 H
2  Artículos
false advertisment   21/9/2016

so awhile back i met a lady on AmigosCalientes.com and what caught my attention was that she said she loved to work out, but more importantly (at least for me lol) she loved giving head. so after a few weeks of getting to know each other, we were chatting one friday night. she had a date that was running late or maybe just blowing her off. i was home bored and jokely said if you need some replacement dick, i'm ...


5 Comentarios, 226 Vistas, 21 Votos ,4.12 Puntuación
;-)   8/9/2016

A lady goes to the doctor and complains that her husband is losing interest in sex. The doctor gives her a pill, but warns her that it's still experimental. He tells her to slip it into his mashed potatoes at dinner, so that night, she does just that. About a week later, she’s back at the doctor, where she says, "Doc, the pill worked great! I put it in the potatoes like you said! It wasn't ...


3 Comentarios, 159 Vistas, 25 Votos ,4.79 Puntuación
nicelifej 33 H
3  Artículos
.zdfgjkldfklhb   4/9/2016

respect is the most important value in the relationship


1 Comentarios, 14 Vistas, 6 Votos ,3.08 Puntuación
luv2liku698 58 H
1  Artículo
Tires made of pussy   21/8/2016

We were having a discussion at the bar one afternoon. This girl said, "If tires were made of pussy they would never wear out!". I told her that it wouldn't work. The whole world would then smell like fish!!


2 Comentarios, 56 Vistas, 16 Votos ,3.27 Puntuación
BrightBlueEyes80 35 H
5  Artículos
Why do people always say things that arent?   2/8/2016

Why do girls always say they dont want anything serious, then all of a sudden they want something serious? Why not just be straight up?


2 Comentarios, 37 Vistas, 11 Votos ,4.10 Puntuación
wittyhumor 41 H
37  Artículos
The Fickle Times We Live In.....   15/4/2016

"Nevermind what's being said to you! Then maybe you could learn to fuck better!"

That's what I said to her as I came in her mouth after, a less than par blowjob.....

"Didn't you learn anything from those porn flicks that you keep in your closet?!!"

I had asked her that before, and she hates it every time. She then says to me, that, she thought I loved her, and she ...


3 Comentarios, 93 Vistas, 12 Votos ,0.68 Puntuación
wittyhumor 41 H
37  Artículos
The case of my missing twix bars....   15/4/2016

The first time in total, and in my hands I left a little bit of a mess.....

It was just then, when, she was going through my emails that i have sent here and there.....

So, I said to her that it was just all in good fun, and yes I do online sex often....

She's so cute, and sweet, as well as, A's on my report card....

Yeah, it was not able to make a difference ...


0 Comentarios, 52 Vistas, 9 Votos ,2.36 Puntuación
UZIoSUICIDE 50 H
27  Artículos
Lessor of two evils   11/3/2016

"So let me get this straight, " the prosecutor says to the defendant, "you came home from work early and found your wife in bed with a strange man." "That's correct, " says the defendant. "At which time, " continues the prosecutor, "you take out a pistol and shoot your wife, killing her." "That's correct, " says the defendant. "Then my question to you is, why did you shoot your wife and the man ...


1 Comentarios, 221 Vistas, 23 Votos ,5.23 Puntuación
UZIoSUICIDE 50 H
27  Artículos
Make her scream...   11/3/2016

Hey guys... I figured out how you can make your girlfriend or wife or whatever scream during sex.. It's super easy and it works every time... All ya gotta do.. While you are having sex take your phone... and call your girl and tell her about it...


5 Comentarios, 112 Vistas, 17 Votos ,4.68 Puntuación
UZIoSUICIDE 50 H
27  Artículos
WINNER WINNER WINNER   11/3/2016

So, a man asks his wife "If I won the lottery, what would you do?" His wife says, "Take half and leave you" The man smiles and says, "Good cuz I won 12 bux from the lottery today, heres 6 now get out"


0 Comentarios, 49 Vistas, 11 Votos ,4.66 Puntuación
sexxxcrzd 33 P
9  Artículos
Look how sexy my wife is...   6/2/2016

...That is all.

-Sexxxcrzd(m)


11 Comentarios, 174 Vistas, 26 Votos ,5.61 Puntuación
jeweler47 72 H
8  Artículos
seems like my friend is horny when he describes a Hostees cupcake   1/2/2016

We wre talking about a hostess cupcake and he gave me a review. This is what he wrote and below is the minor changes I made to it

Yes I did Not forget it...Now for my review. Cream center made by Hostess is second to none. The consistency of the white icing was perfect...not mushy, but firm. Overall the taste was terrific. Now I will have to buy them and keep them as part of my ...


0 Comentarios, 55 Vistas, 10 Votos ,3.39 Puntuación
wickedcat2006 44 M
145  Artículos
the vagina!!!   31/1/2016

The best engine in the world is the Vagina. It can be started with one finger, It is self lubricating, It takes any size piston, And it changes it's own oil every four weeks. It is only a pity that the management system is so fucking temperamental.....


6 Comentarios, 120 Vistas, 41 Votos ,7.16 Puntuación
mostPHALLUSmous 44 H
10  Artículos
...No love? Watch this!   5/1/2016

I once had a girl named Lorrie Who saw me as nugatory. Once bedded her friend and that was the end. Hers was one tough love story.


0 Comentarios, 22 Vistas, 2 Votos ,1.04 Puntuación
rm_Nikkicandie1 26 P
0  Artículos
its funny now not s much then   6/12/2015

nikki an myself was in bed and she says she has to pee.okay I thought get up and go like any sane person would do.well she for some reason got the idea to act like she was a dog and omg she pissed on me!!and I don't mean just a lil I mean straight full blast peed lol then says she was marking what belongs to her lol I couldn't be mad after that bc it was so funny and sweet at the same time yet ...


5 Comentarios, 98 Vistas, 21 Votos ,2.14 Puntuación
mrryan74 45 H
5  Artículos
wife joke   30/10/2015

A lady goes to the doctor and complains that her husband is losing interest in sex. The doctor gives her a pill, but warns her that it's still experimental. He tells her to slip it into his mashed potatoes at dinner, so that night, she does just that. About a week later, she’s back at the doctor, where she says, "Doc, the pill worked great! I put it in the potatoes like you said! It wasn't ...


15 Comentarios, 448 Vistas, 40 Votos ,6.83 Puntuación
mrryan74 45 H
5  Artículos
BBQ time   30/10/2015

A husband exclaims to his wife one day, "Your butt is getting really big. It's bigger than the BBQ grill!" Later that night in bed, the husband makes some advances towards his wife who completely brushes him off. "What's wrong?" he asks. She answers, "Do you really think I'm going to fire up this big-ass grill for one little weenie?"


5 Comentarios, 222 Vistas, 22 Votos ,5.77 Puntuación
rm_NOPoet30 67 H
47  Artículos
Always use condoms?   29/10/2015

Many will say YES! Let me state my case: 1st I was with the same partner for over 20 yr.s before she passed away. Last full physical showed No STDs & a sperm count so low, as to not exist. 2nd I have a reaction to latex [Rash] & little or no sensation. So, I ask if she can prove she is disease free - which I feel is being honest- and that for reasons stated I don't use condoms. Mostly, I get ...


2 Comentarios, 88 Vistas, 8 Votos ,1.86 Puntuación
rm_NOPoet30 67 H
47  Artículos
Always use condoms?   29/10/2015

Many will say YES! Let me state my case: 1st I was with the same partner for over 20 yr.s before she passed away. Last full physical showed No STDs & a sperm count so low, as to not exist. 2nd I have a reaction to latex [Rash] & little or no sensation. So, I ask if she can prove she is disease free - which I feel is being honest- and that for reasons stated I don't use condoms. Mostly, I get ...


2 Comentarios, 46 Vistas, 5 Votos ,4.12 Puntuación
rm_BIGYODAG2 65 H
24  Artículos
ANOTHER POEM FOR THE MAG -= SAD, FUNNY & LAME   22/8/2015

LAMO

We met in a chat room General conversation Things get hot & heavy She is coming over for sex. ‘Can’t see you till after work Be there by 8 AM my dear.’

She had sent a photo From the neck to her waist To whet my appetite I guess She was lovely, bare big breasted.

Troubled sleep – toss & turn Big Yoda is throbbing My mind is in a whirl Putting a face & name ...


2 Comentarios, 76 Vistas, 8 Votos ,3.25 Puntuación
Satyr48 70 H
8  Artículos
Karma   20/8/2015

Two former female neighbors met in the Afterlife, after both suffering untimely deaths. Being surprised to see each other, they asked how they me their fates. One woman said she froze to death. "Oh, my goodness!" the other replied, "that's terrible" "Well; not SO bad" the other replied, "After a while the cold went away, and I drifted off into a warm sleep" The second woman said she died of a ...


1 Comentarios, 235 Vistas, 26 Votos ,5.40 Puntuación
wittyhumor 41 H
37  Artículos
I Forget Stuff Sometimes   15/8/2015

I looked up at my ceiling the other day and as I was laying there I saw what I thought to be a sliver of paint on it. I didn't pay it any attention but I noticed that it had some limbs. So obviously it's a bug. I grab the bug spray and down it goes. I quickly picked it up off the floor and flush it in the toilet. Moments later i get a knock at the door. So I quickly answer the door as I am ...


0 Comentarios, 216 Vistas, 13 Votos ,2.64 Puntuación
MsCarlalee 56 T
9  Artículos
The Successful Son   3/8/2015

Four men went golfing one day. Three of them went to the 1st tee while the other went to to the club house to pay the bill. The three men started bragging on their sons. The first man said "My son is a successful home builder. He's so successful that he gave a friend a new home for free. The second man said "My son is such a good car salesman that he know owns a multi-line dealership. And ...


4 Comentarios, 227 Vistas, 17 Votos ,5.67 Puntuación
Otis_Good 67 H
17  Artículos‚ Puntuación 13.2
Listen up   15/7/2015

I was talking to my ex one day after sex and asked who is the best lover you ever had ? I was feeling pretty sure she was going to say me after the fancy fuck I just gave her but no . Yap yap yap she went on and on . I kind of stoped listening until I heard . And in the shower Rose said you might as well wash my back and ass a deal is a deal . What ? What deal ? I asked . Rose my second roommate ...


1 Comentarios, 298 Vistas, 15 Votos ,2.52 Puntuación
wickedcat2006 44 M
145  Artículos
gossipers!!!   15/6/2015

Mildred, the church gossiper and self-appointed monitor of the church's morals, kept sticking her nose into other people's business. Several members did not approve of her extra curricular activities, but feared her enough to maintain their silence.

She made a mistake, however, when she accused a new member, Henry, of being an alcoholic after she saw his old pickup parked in front of ...


4 Comentarios, 242 Vistas, 39 Votos ,6.82 Puntuación
suryareddy004 20 H
1  Artículo
my first romance   28/5/2015

haii friends, this is my real experience in my life.once my Aunty's daughter came to my house for spend her holidays.she was very beautiful and sexy.I loved her so much.one day night do small fighting between she and her mom.then she get nervous feeling. and she come to my bed beside of me.then time is gone.then I put my hand at her PUSSY.then she shifted her face beside of my face, and she give ...


0 Comentarios, 119 Vistas, 7 Votos ,2.28 Puntuación
1HORNYOLDBUGGER2 54 H
3  Artículos
Having sex with The King! Thank you.. Thank you very much...   15/4/2015

I have always found ways to make a girl bust up laughing; while we have sex.. Creative singing is one them.. I have a knack for turning something innocent; into something naughty..... For instance.. I heard an Elvis song while driving to a date. Latter when we were ready for a romp, I sang my dirty version. It went like this: Are you lonesome tonight?... ...


2 Comentarios, 94 Vistas, 11 Votos ,4.66 Puntuación
dh1313h 35 H
3  Artículos
For Fun   15/3/2015

A boss said to his secretary I want to have SEX with you I will make it very fast. I'll throw $1000 on the floor, by the time you bend down to pick it I'll be done. She thought for a moment then called her boyfriend and told him the story. Her boyfriend then said to her, do it but "Ask him for $2000, pick up the money very fast he wouldn't even have enough time to undressed himself." So she ...


3 Comentarios, 243 Vistas, 20 Votos ,4.53 Puntuación
Kycre8iveman 56 H
0  Artículos
My Date From Hell!   18/2/2015

Written by: KyCre8iveGuy

NOW THE STORY YOU ARE ABOUT TO READ, MAY SEEM TOTALLY WEIRD AND COMPLETELY CRAZY…BUT HAND OVER MY HEART…IT’S THE COMPLETE TRUTH!!

I met a young lady on a Transgendered website. She was 35-years-old, had long blonde, beautiful hair and the face and body of a Goddess. We chatted for a while on the website and through personal emails. Eventually, we ...


7 Comentarios, 297 Vistas, 39 Votos ,4.62 Puntuación
rm_canwechat1 72 H
1  Artículo
IRONY   13/1/2015

Isn't it Ironic that this page is blank, can one surmise from that that there is nothing funny about sex? from my experience it can't be so, many a gut splitting laugh has come out of the absurd situation we sometimes find ourselves in in the pursuit of sex.


0 Comentarios, 34 Vistas, 7 Votos ,3.04 Puntuación
HBandito 49 H
3  Artículos
She's a spitter!!!   24/12/2014

One day me and a couple of girls I used to work with were sitting in a training area at work. This place was towards the far back of the building so it got little traffic and only two trainers were assigned to the area. The main trainer was gone for awhile so the other a good friend of mine was the other. The other woman was ten years older then us but liked hanging out with us because we partied ...


2 Comentarios, 335 Vistas, 24 Votos ,4.27 Puntuación
SingleNFree31 46 H
10  Artículos
Romantic   2/12/2014

"I could stay awake just to hear you breathing...Watch you smile while you're sleeping..." Aerosmith = Romantic Me = Restraining Order


2 Comentarios, 44 Vistas, 10 Votos ,2.59 Puntuación
maximil_power 33 H
1  Artículo
A Realization After Sex   13/11/2014

So the encounter began as hot and passionate as ever! She started unbuttoning my shirt, but had to raise her arms so I could throw HER shirt off! She must have thought, forget the buttons, and tried to pull mine over my head too!

We were tearing each other's clothes off like they were on fire!

She went for my belt, I went for her bra, and after struggling like I was trying to ...


3 Comentarios, 230 Vistas, 18 Votos ,3.26 Puntuación
rm_goodsxwithu 55 P
10  Artículos
Funny   12/11/2014

Have you ever gotten rug burns from having sex on a carpet? There's nothing funny about it the next morning.


14 Comentarios, 130 Vistas, 28 Votos ,5.19 Puntuación
kimdan4fun 36 P
10  Artículos
Testimonials   7/11/2014

If you get one do you always allow it to show up on your profile or do you sometimes hide them?


4 Comentarios, 67 Vistas, 14 Votos ,3.30 Puntuación
prettyinpink838 35 P
6  Artículos
Going   31/10/2014

Funny how the longer you know someone the more you get use to seeing them going to the bathroom and how little it matters.


9 Comentarios, 126 Vistas, 24 Votos ,6.20 Puntuación
rm_3xthefun99 49 P
4  Artículos
Humor   21/10/2014

We think it's really funny how many guys want us to watch them jerk off on cam. Do they really think that's what people on here want to see? Oh and just an added note for those of you that think a woman is watching you on all those couple profiles. It isn't.


8 Comentarios, 89 Vistas, 18 Votos ,4.49 Puntuación
nosinglemenever 28 M
3  Artículos
Funny?   15/10/2014

If you write me and ask to fuck, suck or perform any other sex act with you before we've had a chance to chat first then I'll know you're just being funny.


4 Comentarios, 106 Vistas, 25 Votos ,6.56 Puntuación
Lost_Cause_69 51 H
6  Artículos
Hard Liquor...   20/9/2014

Two female co-workers are chatting it up, and they are discussing the boyfriends they’ve had in the last year. One girl says "The last 3 boyfriends I’ve had, I’ve named after soda pops. The first one i called 7up, because he had 7 inches and he knew how to keep it up. The second one i called mountain dew, because when it came to mounting he knew what to do. The third i called Jack Daniels." ...


4 Comentarios, 277 Vistas, 24 Votos ,6.65 Puntuación
Lost_Cause_69 51 H
6  Artículos
Lunch would be ready......   15/9/2014

A little girl runs out to the backyard where her father is working, and asks him, "Daddy, what's sex?" Her father sits her down, and tells her all about the birds and the bees. He tells her about conception, sexual intercourse, sperms and eggs. He goes on to tell her about puberty, menstruation, erections, wet-dreams...and he thinks, what the hell, and goes on to tell her the works. He covers a ...


2 Comentarios, 245 Vistas, 21 Votos ,6.84 Puntuación
Lost_Cause_69 51 H
6  Artículos
Three kinds of each...   6/9/2014

A family is at the dinner table. The son asks the father, "Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?" The father, surprised, answers, "Well, son, a woman goes through three phases. In her 20s, her breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her 30s and 40s, they are like pears, still nice, hanging a bit. After 50, they are like onions." "Onions?" the son asks. "Yes. You see them and they make you ...


3 Comentarios, 157 Vistas, 20 Votos ,4.91 Puntuación
Memorable moments   17/8/2014

Do you have anything happen that was so funny you will never forget that moment?


1 Comentarios, 40 Vistas, 7 Votos ,2.79 Puntuación
vazzaam1 37 H
7  Artículos
bar joke   19/7/2014

A guy walks into a bar and says to the barman, "Give me six double vodkas."

The barman says, "Wow, you must have had one hell of a day."

"Yeah, I just found out my oldest son is gay."

The next day, the same guy comes into the bar and asks for six double vodkas. When the bartender asks what's wrong, the man says, "I just found out that my youngest son is gay, too!" ...


6 Comentarios, 342 Vistas, 24 Votos ,6.65 Puntuación
GGnCerb 51 P
1  Artículo
Joke...   27/6/2014

How do you know you just had a good blow job?

- When she gives you a blow job she sucks the sheets up your ass.

Now how do you know the woman that just gave you that blow job is a good girl?

- She pulls the sheets back out for you.


4 Comentarios, 88 Vistas, 25 Votos ,3.91 Puntuación
SIR   30/4/2014



A


1 Comentarios, 59 Vistas, 6 Votos ,1.66 Puntuación
thislustfulmind 41 H
28  Artículos
Fun Facts about the Great Vagina   28/4/2014

Fun Facts about the Great Vagina


5 Comentarios, 260 Vistas, 26 Votos ,7.02 Puntuación
thislustfulmind 41 H
28  Artículos
Interesting facts about the Penis   28/4/2014

Interesting facts about the Penis


4 Comentarios, 176 Vistas, 23 Votos ,7.45 Puntuación
rm_rituraj510 28 H
12  Artículos
Getting rid of Ex   4/4/2014

An explorer goes into an undiscovered tomb for the first time, and in the center of the tomb there’s a lamp. He picks it up, and as he starts to rub the dirt off of it, a genie comes out of the lamp and says, “I want to know the person you hate the most.” The explorer says, “That’s gotta be my ex-wife. Why?” “I am a cursed genie. I will grant you three wishes, but whatever you wish ...


2 Comentarios, 284 Vistas, 17 Votos ,5.39 Puntuación
rm_rituraj510 28 H
12  Artículos
how are people born?   4/4/2014

A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was ...


3 Comentarios, 171 Vistas, 11 Votos ,4.85 Puntuación
Islandman209 47 H
6  Artículos
what women would do if they had a penis for a day   4/3/2014

10. Get ahead faster in corporate America.

9. Get a blow job.

8. Find out what is so fascinating about beating the meat.

7. Pee standing up while talking to other men at a urinal.

6. Determine WHY you can't hit the bowl consistently.

5. Find out what it's like to be on the other end of a surging orgasm.

4. Touch yourself in public ...


3 Comentarios, 87 Vistas, 11 Votos ,5.04 Puntuación
Islandman209 47 H
6  Artículos
WHAT MEN WOULD DO IF THEY HAD A VAGINA FOR A DAY   4/3/2014

10. Immediately go shopping for zucchini and cucumbers.

9. Squat over a hand-held mirror for an hour and a half.

8. See if they could finally do the splits.

7. See if it's truly possible to launch a ping pong ball 20 feet.

6. Cross their legs without rearranging their crotch.

5. Get picked up in a bar in less than 10 minutes ... BEFORE closing ...


1 Comentarios, 63 Vistas, 7 Votos ,4.82 Puntuación
Islandman209 47 H
6  Artículos
25 Secrets Girls Have To Know About Guys   4/3/2014

. Guys don't actually look after good-looking girls. They prefer neat and presentable girls.

2. Guys hate flirts.

3. A guy can like you for a minute, and then forget you afterwards.

4. When a guy says he doesn't understand you, it simply means you're not thinking the way he is.

5. "Are you doing something?" or "Have you eaten already?" are the first usual ...


1 Comentarios, 67 Vistas, 3 Votos ,2.94 Puntuación
Islandman209 47 H
6  Artículos
long distance   23/2/2014

How To Have A Long Distance Relationship VideoJug is here to help if geography is getting in the way of you and your loved one. Follow our guide on how to have a long distance relationship, and keep your relationship alive despite where you are in the world.



Step 1: Talk it through

You need to discuss your expectations of the relationship once you are apart, and set ...


0 Comentarios, 22 Vistas, 1 Votos ,2.40 Puntuación
LIKESTOLICKMOORE 46 H
23  Artículos
If You Use Handcuffs, Always Keep a Spare Key Handy   1/2/2014

I've even got a better idea, make sure you have one key on a string, around your wrist before you play, and have a spare on your key ring.

The reason? My two best friends, Ted and Bobbi and I play around quite a bit. Sometimes I go to their house for MFM threesome, sometimes they come over to my house to have a mfmf party with Debbie and me.

And sometimes, Ted and Bobbi just get ...


1 Comentarios, 172 Vistas, 8 Votos ,4.64 Puntuación
hysteroyster 33 M
2  Artículos
Foodie   27/1/2014

Urban Dictionary defines foodie as: a douchebag who likes food; though the terms "gastronome" and "epicure" define the same thing.

I don't remember being an asshole due to my foodism, I have however perceived others as such when my desire for certain foods or eateries were denied.

...which I guess does indeed make me a douchebag.

But who could resist the succulent steak ...


0 Comentarios, 41 Vistas, 8 Votos ,2.78 Puntuación
annie444u 52 P
135  Artículos
What Annie didn't tell you..............   23/1/2014

....was that before she rolled the damn can of Crème of Mushroom soup perfectly under my right foot was:

1. the fact that we have wood floors and they had just been polished.

2. I was wearing socks, not shoes at the time of impact.

3. She had just opened the cupboard above me slamming me in the head with the bottom corner of the oak cabinet

4. That ...


3 Comentarios, 101 Vistas, 10 Votos ,3.19 Puntuación
annie444u 52 P
135  Artículos
Too Many Cooks in the Kitchen Ruin the Meal (er, uh, ruin one's head)   23/1/2014

My husband Danny is an excellent chef. If it can be grilled, he can grille it like no one's ever grilled meat before. If it can be broiled, he can broil it to perfection. He can bake, fry, you name it.

However, sometimes we'll have guests coming over for a big dinner and he needs help in the kitchen....that's where I come in...or at least I used to.

He gave me a list of ...


4 Comentarios, 156 Vistas, 7 Votos ,4.06 Puntuación
solidsingh2 29 H
6  Artículos
SPECIAL YESTERDAY BUT UNWANTED TODAY   30/11/2013

DO U KNOW WHAT HURTS THE MOST.........?

ITS WHEN SOMEONE MADE U FEEL VERY VERY SPECIAL YESTERDAY....................................................................................................................................................BUT....................................................................................MADE U FEEL THAT U R THE MOST UNWANTED PERSON TODAY.....!! ...


1 Comentarios, 58 Vistas, 5 Votos ,3.47 Puntuación
jaipurcouple1979 41 P
3  Artículos
Glitter and Sparkles   1/10/2013



I was due for an appointment with the gynecologist later in the week. Early one morning, I received a call from the doctor's office to tell me that I had been rescheduled for that morning at 9:30 am. I had only just packed everyone off to work and school, and it was already around 8:45am. The trip to his office took about 35 minutes, so I didn't have any ...



3 Comentarios, 278 Vistas, 15 Votos ,5.73 Puntuación
jaipurcouple1979 41 P
3  Artículos
Glitter and Sparkles   1/10/2013



I was due for an appointment with the gynecologist later in the week. Early one morning, I received a call from the doctor's office to tell me that I had been rescheduled for that morning at 9:30 am. I had only just packed everyone off to work and school, and it was already around 8:45am. The trip to his office took about 35 minutes, so I didn't have any ...



2 Comentarios, 99 Vistas, 4 Votos ,4.80 Puntuación
TomRakewell 31 H
10  Artículos
Flakes.   18/9/2013

Tell your funniest flake story!


0 Comentarios, 55 Vistas, 6 Votos ,1.94 Puntuación
Badtrev 39 H
9  Artículos
On being discreet...   9/9/2013

I cannot speak for everyone, but in the case of my wife and I discretion is an absolute non-negotiable must. Her work is sensitive to anything that may be conveyed as "alternative" and my work is very publicly oriented where I talk to hundreds of different people a week. On top of that we're also involved in the community and have a lot of friends who might not be ready to understand. So we ...


2 Comentarios, 161 Vistas, 9 Votos ,3.21 Puntuación
LTSwing69 51 P
2  Artículos
Greener Grass   7/9/2013

Being that my husband was born and raised his whole life here in this small County He is pretty well known and knows most other locals that have been born and raised here. Its safe to say that when we meet new people If its through a mutual friend , they have already been pre warned or pre schooled that we are freaks. They don't know what to expect and though they all at one time or another ...


3 Comentarios, 282 Vistas, 15 Votos ,3.28 Puntuación
bostonguy27yo 32 H
1  Artículo
Ever Fart by accident while getting blowjob?   11/8/2013

haha


1 Comentarios, 64 Vistas, 6 Votos ,1.37 Puntuación
OneMikeHancho 37 H
2  Artículos
Say it isn't so!   26/7/2013

A hysterical woman came into the ER. She'd just had a fight with her boyfriend while sitting in his parked car. She said she had gotten so mad at him that she pulled the key out of the ignition and put it in her vagina so he couldn't drive home! Now she couldn't locate the key to get it out. I couldn't find it either, so we concluded that it must have fallen out ...


3 Comentarios, 363 Vistas, 13 Votos ,2.81 Puntuación
OneMikeHancho 37 H
2  Artículos
Maybe you?   26/7/2013

"One night, a gurney rolled in carrying a woman in black lingerie-who happened to be straddling a naked man. They told us that they had been doing a lot of drugs and having wild sex when the woman's vagina cramped up and the guy couldn't pull out. The doctor on duty gave her muscle relaxants, and after several minutes, they were able to separate. Then they were promptly ...


2 Comentarios, 323 Vistas, 10 Votos ,4.58 Puntuación
annie444u 52 P
135  Artículos
I want to know why the sexually frustrated, sexually depraved women go for my Danny   16/3/2013

Are there any other guys out there that get hit on by divorced, sexually depraved, sexually frustrated women like my Danny does.

I swear the boy must have the record for banging girls that are divorced and who haven't had sex with anyone since they split with their husbands.

Danny can relate story after story to me about how these women, many of them cougars, seduce him and, ...


2 Comentarios, 354 Vistas, 22 Votos ,3.49 Puntuación
annie444u 52 P
135  Artículos
Using One Friend to Make Another Girl Jealous, I Instead Made Them Into Lovers   2/2/2013

Sometimes our best ideas become our worst nightmares.....

Sometimes what seems like a good idea one minute comes back to bite us in the ass the very next second.

By using Diane, my best bi-sexual friend and lover to get Katie jealous, I instead turned them into lovers.

Katie never really left Earl, she remained married to him for years, but Katie made love to Diane ...


1 Comentarios, 269 Vistas, 20 Votos ,4.66 Puntuación
Funny only now, many years later   11/8/2012

I'm in college and pick out this good looking freshman during orientation.

That night I'm munching away on a her and suddenly get a string in my mouth.

Yep, you guessed it.

So I stop, grab a quick, long swig from the beer bottle and ask her if she's on the the rag.

Comes out no boyfriend had ever eating her before and she didn't realize there was anything ...


4 Comentarios, 273 Vistas, 12 Votos ,3.51 Puntuación
dnafun11 45 P
15  Artículos
Who knew...   5/7/2012

When we got active in swinging we knew that there could be some drama involved. We do a pretty good job of avoiding it.

We expected it to come from the ladies. I mean speaking as a lady myself, I know that more than a few of the fairer sex seem to need a certain level of drama. And lets face facts we have all seen the couples where she swings to keep her man happy but is not really into ...


1 Comentarios, 304 Vistas, 17 Votos ,3.27 Puntuación
c6love 32 H
26  Artículos
humor   3/7/2012

so has anyone been farted on during sex. not a sex fart but an actual fart. it has happened to me numerous times. i almost burst out in laughter each time. is this normal for girls to fart during sex


9 Comentarios, 130 Vistas, 3 Votos ,2.45 Puntuación
nobody328 26 H
23  Artículos
IMPORTANT   30/5/2012

HUMOR IN RELATIONSHIP IS IMPORTANT AND ADVISABLE


3 Comentarios, 55 Vistas, 4 Votos ,2.08 Puntuación
Dirty_Pinguin 32 H
3  Artículos
Humor and Attraction : who likes jokers ??   24/2/2012

Have you heard the one about the relationship scientist who walks into a bar with a journal under one arm and a duck under the other? Never mind...it wasn’t very funny to begin with. If that's the only joke you know, will your lackluster sense of humor hurt you when it comes to attracting a romantic partner? It turns out that the use and importance of humor differs between men and women in ...


1 Comentarios, 35 Vistas, 1 Votos
nvrgetsenuf 50 M
11  Artículos
First Date Fuck-Ups, episode 2   7/2/2012

I met Jose (not his real name, to protect the guilty), while I was pumping gas & he was cleaning the canopy over the gas pumps. He would splash a little water to make me think it had started sprinkling. He did this twice before I looked up to see him. He then asked if I would like to go to a movie Friday. He was very good looking so I answered yes. He told me where his second job is, what time he ...


2 Comentarios, 523 Vistas, 24 Votos ,4.61 Puntuación
rm_sexspice40 49 M
6  Artículos
april fool   30/1/2012

you walk into a room and find your lover and your best friend under the sheets both naked. when they see you, they both scream april fool. you look at the calender and realise its april 1st. what would you do.


4 Comentarios, 371 Vistas, 15 Votos ,3.28 Puntuación
_JKH_ 65 H
858  Artículos
Ed the Chicken !   4/1/2012

Ed came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife, and fell into a deep slumber.

He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St. Peter said, 'You died in your sleep, Ed.'

Ed was stunned. 'I'm dead? No, I can't be! I've got too much to live for. Send me back!'

St. Peter said, 'I'm sorry, but there's only one way you can go back, and that is as a ...


4 Comentarios, 372 Vistas, 16 Votos ,3.42 Puntuación
rm_Toyboyj624 26 H
11  Artículos
Laughter in bed   17/11/2011

Sex is the major component of a relationship and so aslong as you maintain it you maintain your relationship.alot of humour can be brought out of sex if you look deep enuf, your partners body is a store of humour that you can use, just make a sexy seductive joke abouts yours or their body and see how fast the laughter will lead you two to the bedroom.have some naughty humour in your relationship ...


0 Comentarios, 63 Vistas, 2 Votos ,1.04 Puntuación
kinkycplincanon 48 P
5  Artículos
her,or so she says   9/10/2011

watching wife having her first girl/girl 69 in the back of our Subaru wagon . Let me set the story:i had hooked up my buddy with this girl who was staying with shannon and i.a mutual friend brought her over, asking if she could stay a few weeks. she was a tall redhead , kinda thick (in a good way)green eyes big full lips , sexy as hell and was very open about her bi-sexuality a true ...


6 Comentarios, 570 Vistas, 39 Votos ,4.62 Puntuación
xplodeu 48 H
3  Artículos
Pitfalls vs Pussies?   23/8/2011

I'm just curious to know what women prefer in bed. I'm sure if your sitting at home right now with the moggy on your lap your gonna say pussy right? But if you had put pussy to bed 5 min ago, and walked into your bedroom, What would you be expecting to find?

A bottle of wine and chocolate, a whip or other? I understand everyone here states their preferences, but I'm seeking here ...


2 Comentarios, 122 Vistas, 5 Votos ,1.84 Puntuación
takemeasiam74 43 H
10  Artículos
humor   13/8/2011

we all need to laugh and humor can help us all relax, sexually it is v important


1 Comentarios, 44 Vistas, 7 Votos ,2.02 Puntuación
XG35 50 H
4  Artículos
Bra Sizes   27/7/2011

Have u ever wondered why A, B, C, D, DD, E, F, G, and H are the Letters used to define bra sizes? But couldn't figure out what the letters stood for. Well its time you became informed! (A) Almost tits. ( Barely there. (C) Can't Complain! (D) Damn! (DD) Double Damn! (E) Enormous! (F) Fake. (G) Get a Reduction. (H )Help me, I've fallen and I can't get up!




7 Comentarios, 513 Vistas, 36 Votos ,4.45 Puntuación
josmith5 57 H
1466  Artículos
Noble King Arthur   29/6/2011

King Arthur

Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him, but was moved by Arthur’s youth and ideals. So, the monarch offered him freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer; if, after a year, he still had no answer, he would be put to ...


2 Comentarios, 290 Vistas, 12 Votos ,6.16 Puntuación
josmith5 57 H
1466  Artículos
Like a Tiger   29/6/2011

A couple was on their honeymoon, lying in bed, about ready to consummate their marriage, when the new bride says to the husband, "I have a confession to make, I’m not a virgin."

The husband replies, "That’s no big thing in this day and age."

The wife continues, "Yeah, I’ve been with one guy."

"Oh yeah? Who was the guy?"

"Tiger Woods."

"Tiger ...


1 Comentarios, 384 Vistas, 11 Votos ,3.35 Puntuación
josmith5 57 H
1466  Artículos
The Old Farmer   29/6/2011

The old farmer sat rocking on the front porch as he talked to the stranger. "Been thirty years since I lost my wife in these woods."

"Oh, I’m sorry, " the stranger said, "It must have been hard to lose your wife like that."

"Hard?" the farmer snorted, "Was damn near impossible! She knew those woods like the back of her hand!"


1 Comentarios, 381 Vistas, 9 Votos ,3.64 Puntuación
josmith5 57 H
1466  Artículos
the Big Game Hunter   23/6/2011

The big game hunter walked into the bar and bragged to everyone about his hunting skills. The man was undoubtedly a good shot and none could dispute that. But then he said they could blindfold him and he would recognize any animal’s skin from it’s feel, and if he could locate the bullet hole he would even tell them what caliber bullet it was that killed the animal.

The hunter said ...


1 Comentarios, 260 Vistas, 10 Votos ,3.98 Puntuación
josmith5 57 H
1466  Artículos
Piece of Cake   23/6/2011

Little Johnny walked into the kitchen, saw his mother making a cake and announced, "I'm gonna go play in my room for a couple of hours. I sure would like a piece of cake after though!

Later, when his mother brought him a piece of cake, Little Johnny exclaimed, "Wow!, it worked!"

Puzzled, his mother asked, "What do you mean?"

Little Johnny replied, "Daddy said that in ...


1 Comentarios, 298 Vistas, 5 Votos ,4.12 Puntuación
josmith5 57 H
1466  Artículos
Sex at Seven   23/6/2011

A typical macho man married a typical good-looking redheaded lady and after the wedding, laid down the following rules:

"I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want and I don't expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless I tell you otherwise. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing, and card-playing when I want with my old buddies and don't you ...


1 Comentarios, 257 Vistas, 5 Votos ,3.14 Puntuación
josmith5 57 H
1466  Artículos
Two Friends   23/6/2011

Two friends, a blonde and a brunette, are walking down the street and pass a flower shop where the brunette happens to see her boyfriend buying flowers.

She sighs and says, "Oh, crap, my boyfriend is buying me flowers again...for no reason."

The blonde looks quizzically at her and says, "What’s the big deal, don’t you like getting flowers?"

The brunette says, "Oh ...


2 Comentarios, 316 Vistas, 10 Votos ,4.78 Puntuación
josmith5 57 H
1466  Artículos
"Joys of Parenting "   22/6/2011

A Woman's Experience With Children

For those who already have children past this age, this is hilarious. For those who have children this age, this is not funny. For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning. For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control.

The following came from an anonymous mother.

Things I've learned from my children ...


3 Comentarios, 275 Vistas, 12 Votos ,5.63 Puntuación
josmith5 57 H
1466  Artículos
Women   22/6/2011

Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult. --Charlotte Whitton

Guys are like dogs. They keep coming back. Ladies are like cats. Yell at a cat one time...they're gone. --Lenny Bruce

I love women. They're the best thing ever created. If they want to be like men and come down to our level, that's fine. --Mel ...


1 Comentarios, 154 Vistas, 1 Votos ,3.70 Puntuación
josmith5 57 H
1466  Artículos
Vacation   22/6/2011

A couple went on vacation to a fishing resort. The husband liked to fish at the crack of dawn; his wife preferred to read. One morning the husband returned after several hours of fishing and decided to take a nap.

The wife, to escape her snoring husband, decided to take the boat out. Since she was not familiar with the lake, she rowed out to the middle, anchored the boat, and started ...


1 Comentarios, 279 Vistas, 6 Votos ,5.36 Puntuación
southernman5051 58 H
6  Artículos
Starting a fight   5/6/2011

A wife and her husband were watching "Who wants to be a millionaire"while they were in bed.Husband turns to the wife and said Do you want to have sex?"NO" she answered.He then turns and ask, Is that your final answer? THis time without even looking at him simply reply "YES" So then husband turns and said ok I like to phone a friend" THen the fight started.


1 Comentarios, 418 Vistas, 17 Votos ,2.42 Puntuación
coolwinterclass 52 H
5  Artículos
booted out   3/6/2011

A husband and his wife had a very bad argument.He left and went to the bar. when he home three sheets to the wind. He saw that all his clothes and tools were lying in the front yard. When seeing this through blurry eyes he stormed in the house and confronted wife."Bitch I know your leaving but you sure in hell are not taking my stuff with you"


2 Comentarios, 371 Vistas, 12 Votos ,3.68 Puntuación
DinaTv1 48 T
5  Artículos
A Shot In The Dark....   30/3/2011

When i was younger i used to go out with a rock chick who liked the fantasy so we used to get stoned and go into the park by me at about 2 in the morning.

I would wait in the bushes, jump out, rip her clothes off and fuck her on the grass.

One saturday night we were shagging in me flat, when she said lets go into the park, so off we went.It was about 12 when we went out. ...


0 Comentarios, 29 Vistas, 1 Votos ,3.70 Puntuación
josmith5 57 H
1466  Artículos
Infidelity Discovered   14/3/2011

A man was having an affair with another woman and his wife found out about it, so she told him "If you don't end it now I'm gonna go downtown to the post office where you work and tell everyone I see that you're a no good cheating filthy bum."

The husband replied "You're gonna go downtown to the post office where I work and tell everyone you see that I'm a no good cheating filthy bum?" ...


3 Comentarios, 443 Vistas, 19 Votos ,2.46 Puntuación
josmith5 57 H
1466  Artículos
The Garden of Eden   14/3/2011

One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve calls out to God, "Lord, I have a problem!"

"What's the problem, Eve?"

"Lord, I know you've created me and have provided this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals, and that hilarious comedy snake, but I'm just not happy."

"Why is that, Eve?" came the reply from above.

"Lord, I am lonely. And I'm sick to death of ...


4 Comentarios, 274 Vistas, 12 Votos ,3.33 Puntuación
josmith5 57 H
1466  Artículos
Magic Frog   14/3/2011

A woman was out golfing one day when she hit her ball into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you 3 wishes."

The woman freed the frog and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes-that whatever you wish for, your husband will ...


3 Comentarios, 240 Vistas, 9 Votos ,5.56 Puntuación
josmith5 57 H
1466  Artículos
My Wife and I Were Happy For Twenty Years.......   7/3/2011

My wife and I were happy for twenty years...then we met.

. I just got back from a pleasure trip - I drove my wife to the airport

. After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." She replied, "Yes dear, but I was in love and didn't notice

. One woman says to another, "Isn't your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" The other woman ...


1 Comentarios, 286 Vistas, 4 Votos ,2.47 Puntuación
josmith5 57 H
1466  Artículos
the King   7/3/2011

The king was waving to his loyal subjects from the steps of the palace when he spotted a beggar in the crowd who looked, beneath the dirt and rags, amazingly like his royal self. He had a guard bring the beggar to him and the crowd was likewise struck by the remarkable resemblance. The king was amused, for he knew that the king before him had a well-deserved reputation as a ladies' man, as did he ...


1 Comentarios, 172 Vistas, 1 Votos ,2.40 Puntuación
josmith5 57 H
1466  Artículos
Free Tattoo   7/3/2011

A man walks into a tattoo parlor and says he would like a $100 dollar bill on his dick. Well the tattoo artist laughs and says "I'll do it for free if you can give me one good reason for it."

The guy thinks for a second and says. "Well one, I like to keep my money in my pants, two I like to watch my money grow, and three I want to see how fast my wife can blow a $100.


1 Comentarios, 202 Vistas, 8 Votos ,4.17 Puntuación
josmith5 57 H
1466  Artículos
Just Try to be Strong   7/3/2011

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.

He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:

"Listen, this guy's an ...


2 Comentarios, 225 Vistas, 12 Votos ,5.63 Puntuación
josmith5 57 H
1466  Artículos
Off to Hawaii   7/3/2011

There was a couple who were big over-spenders. They always dreamed to spend holidays in Hawaii, but were never able to save any money to do so. One day they came up with an idea--each time they had sex, they would put $20.00 bill into a piggy bank.

They bought the piggy, and followed that procedure for about a year. After that time, they decided that there was enough money for their ...


1 Comentarios, 144 Vistas, 0 Votos
rm_manz634 33 H
5  Artículos
'reyan George" captured!   25/2/2011

recently i had the rare learning opportunity to deal with a professional con artist on AmigosCalientes.com.com. I received a email from a lady naming herself reyan George who only had one photo on her account. she quickly started with a story about how she was looking for love and cherished love etc. right away i knew something was up because it seemed like it was a letter that was sent to ...


0 Comentarios, 150 Vistas, 3 Votos ,1.47 Puntuación
josmith5 57 H
1466  Artículos
Mrs. Boudreaux   25/2/2011

One night, a torrential rain soaked Southern Louisiana; the next morning the resulting floodwaters came up about 6 feet into most of the homes there.

Mrs. Boudreaux was sitting on her roof with her neighbor, Mrs.Thibodeaux, waiting for help to come. Mrs. Thibodeaux noticed a baseball cap, floating near the house.

Then she saw it float far out into the front yard, then float back ...


3 Comentarios, 181 Vistas, 4 Votos ,2.47 Puntuación
josmith5 57 H
1466  Artículos
Abstinance   18/2/2011

Three couples went in to see the minister to see how to become members of his church. The minister said that they would have to go without sex for two weeks and then come back and tell him how it went. The first couple was retired, the second couple was middle aged and the final couple was newlywed.

Two weeks went by, and the couples returned to the minister. The retired couple said it ...


1 Comentarios, 172 Vistas, 7 Votos ,2.79 Puntuación
josmith5 57 H
1466  Artículos
Sexual Desire Enhancement   18/2/2011

Doc, you've gotta help me... my wife just isn't interested in sex anymore. Haven't you got a pill or something I can give her?" "Look, I can't prescribe..." "Doc, we've been friends for years. Have you ever seen me this upset? I am desperate! I can't think; I can't concentrate; my life is going utterly to Hell! You've got to help me." The doctor opens his desk drawer and removes a small bottle of ...


3 Comentarios, 180 Vistas, 5 Votos ,2.82 Puntuación
josmith5 57 H
1466  Artículos
His and Her Diary   17/2/2011

Her Diary:

Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinner. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it. Conversation wasn't flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed, but he didn't say much. I asked him ...


3 Comentarios, 179 Vistas, 7 Votos ,3.55 Puntuación
josmith5 57 H
1466  Artículos
reincarnation   16/2/2011

Jason came home from the pub late one Friday evening stinking drunk (as he often did) and crept into bed beside his wife who was already asleep.

He gave his wife a peck on the cheek and fell asleep. When he awoke he found a strange man standing at the end of his bed wearing a long flowing white robe. “Who the hell are you?” Demanded Jason, “and what are you doing in my bedroom?”. ...


1 Comentarios, 151 Vistas, 5 Votos ,3.14 Puntuación
josmith5 57 H
1466  Artículos
the Portrait   14/2/2011

Mrs. Johnson decided to have her own portrait painted by a very famous artist. She told the artist, "Paint me with 3-carat diamond earrings, a large diamond necklace, glimmering emerald bracelets, and a beautiful red ruby pendant." "But ma'am, you are not wearing any of those things." "I know, " said Mrs. Johnson. "My health is not good, and my husband is having an affair with his secretary. When ...


2 Comentarios, 122 Vistas, 5 Votos ,3.14 Puntuación
josmith5 57 H
1466  Artículos
the Farmer and His Wife   6/2/2011

A farmer is lying in bed with his wife when he turns to her grabs her tits and says "Honey if you could get milk out of these we could sell the cow". Then he grabs her pussy and says "Honey if you could get eggs out of here we could sell the chickens". She turns to him smiles, grabs his dick and says "Honey if you could get this up I could get rid of your brother


2 Comentarios, 220 Vistas, 2 Votos ,2.42 Puntuación
josmith5 57 H
1466  Artículos
the Bus Ride   27/1/2011

An old maid wanted to travel by bus to the pet cemetery with the remains of her cat. As she boarded the bus, she whispered to the driver, I have a dead pussy.

The driver pointed to the woman in the seat behind him and said, "Sit with my wife. You two have a lot in common.


1 Comentarios, 140 Vistas, 5 Votos ,2.49 Puntuación
josmith5 57 H
1466  Artículos
the in-laws   25/1/2011

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position.

As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"

"Yep, " the wife replied, "in-laws."


2 Comentarios, 172 Vistas, 2 Votos ,3.81 Puntuación
josmith5 57 H
1466  Artículos
dont do it !   23/1/2011

A blonde who suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly, opens the door, and, sure enough, finds him naked in the arms of a redhead. Well, now she’s angry. She opens her purse and takes out the gun. But as she does so, she is overcome with grief and points the gun at her own head.

The boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don’t do ...


1 Comentarios, 175 Vistas, 2 Votos ,2.42 Puntuación
josmith5 57 H
1466  Artículos
Pizza Pizza   22/1/2011

My wife, on her way home, picked up a $5 pizza for dinner. As we are eating it she fell on the floor and started having convulsions. I grabbed and fumbled with the phone as I called the 911 dispatch. As I knelt and attended to her the paramedic unit arrived and started checking her out. They told me not to be worried and that everything would be fine. She was just having "Little Seizures."


1 Comentarios, 171 Vistas, 1 Votos ,3.70 Puntuación
josmith5 57 H
1466  Artículos
the bank hostages   22/1/2011

This guy robs a bank and takes hostages.

He asks one of the hostage, "Did you see me rob the bank?"

The hostage answers, "Yes."

The crook, promptly shoots him.

Then he asks the another hostage the same question, "Did you see me rob the bank?"

The hostage answers, "No, but my wife over there did."


1 Comentarios, 125 Vistas, 0 Votos
josmith5 57 H
1466  Artículos
the sex talk   16/1/2011

In a small town, an elderly couple had been dating each other for a long time.

At the urging of their friends, they decided it was finally time for marriage.

Before the wedding, they went out to dinner and had a long conversation regarding how their marriage might work.

They discussed finances, living arrangements and so on.

Finally, the old gentleman decided ...


1 Comentarios, 152 Vistas, 8 Votos ,2.55 Puntuación
josmith5 57 H
1466  Artículos
the beer drinker   16/1/2011

A man walks in the door after a day at the office to find his wife crying at the kitchen table. Whats wrong? he asks.

I went to the store today, and a horrible man looked up my skirt. He said, ˜Id like to fill that with beer and drink it, she sobs. I wish youd been there to kick his ass.

Listen, honey, Ive repeatedly told you to wear panties every day,  replies the husband. ...


2 Comentarios, 186 Vistas, 8 Votos ,3.01 Puntuación
josmith5 57 H
1466  Artículos
at dinner   16/1/2011

A man and a beautiful woman were having dinner in a fine restaurant. Their waitress (taking another order at a table a few paces away) suddenly noticed that the man was slowing sliding down his chair and under the table, but the woman acted unconcerned.

The waitress watched as the man slid all the way down his chair and out of sight under the table.

Still, the woman dining ...


1 Comentarios, 139 Vistas, 2 Votos ,3.81 Puntuación
josmith5 57 H
1466  Artículos
show me the money   16/1/2011

A couple was having a discussion about what to see and do now that they were safely in Florida on their honeymoon. Trying to assert himself rite off the bat, he exploded, "If it weren't for my money, we wouldn't be here at all!" The wife replied, "My dear, if it weren't for your money, not only would we not be in Florida, we wouldn't be on a honeymoon, nor would there be any "we" in the first ...


1 Comentarios, 107 Vistas, 1 Votos ,2.40 Puntuación
7_inches_4_u916 26 H
8  Artículos
first time swallowing   8/1/2011

ill never forget the time i had this hot girl swallow for me. the look on her face was priceless. so innocent but so confused LOL.


0 Comentarios, 181 Vistas, 0 Votos
Cruelhammer 58 H
8  Artículos
Size Doesn't Matter   1/1/2011

A couple had been dating for about a month, but the guy was afraid to make any sexual advances because of his tiny organ.

Finally one evening, he gets up his courage, and takes her to lovers' lane. While they are making out, he opens his zipper and places her hand on his penis.

"Stop! How dare you!" the girl says. "You know I don't smoke."


1 Comentarios, 304 Vistas, 7 Votos ,3.80 Puntuación
josmith5 57 H
1466  Artículos
marriage proposal   27/12/2010

When asked if there was anything they would have changed about one of the most romantic moments of their lives, several women said a 'bigger diamond!'

54% of men still get down on one knee. 44% of men ask their partner's father for permission to marry. 57% of men cry when she said yes. 65% of women say he could have put more effort and preparation into the proposal. 25% of couples wait ...


1 Comentarios, 128 Vistas, 7 Votos ,1.51 Puntuación
josmith5 57 H
1466  Artículos
New Years Eve Dream   26/12/2010

Janice was taking an afternoon nap on New Year's Eve before the festivities. After she woke up, she confided to Max, her husband, 'I just dreamed that you gave me a diamond ring for a New Year's present. What do you think it all means?'

'Aha, you'll know tonight, ' answered Max smiling broadly.

At midnight, as the New Year was chiming, Max approached Janice and handed her small ...


1 Comentarios, 132 Vistas, 3 Votos ,3.92 Puntuación
josmith5 57 H
1466  Artículos
New Years Eve Party   26/12/2010

Trevor's New Year's Eve party was an annual occurrence with numerous guests arriving. During the evening, a man knocked on the door, was greeted heartily although no one knew who he was, and was led to where the drinks were, in the kitchen. He sat there happily, chatting away, for a couple of hours before a strange light dawned on his face. 'You know, ' he confided to Trevor, 'I wasn't even ...


2 Comentarios, 133 Vistas, 3 Votos ,3.92 Puntuación
josmith5 57 H
1466  Artículos
the Maple Leaf   24/12/2010

After being escorted to the witness box and sworn in, the little old man was asked by the lawyer to explain what had happened. He described the events that led up to the incident and finally got to the main issue of the case, saying, "..and that's when she hit me with a maple leaf!"

"Surely that couldn't have inflicted any serious injury on you, sir, " the lawyer said.

"Are you ...


1 Comentarios, 116 Vistas, 2 Votos ,3.12 Puntuación
josmith5 57 H
1466  Artículos
Who Makes the Coffee   24/12/2010

A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning.

The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee."

The husband said, "You're in charge of the cooking around here and you should do it, because that's your job. I can just wait for my coffee."

The wife replied, "No ...


2 Comentarios, 131 Vistas, 5 Votos ,3.80 Puntuación
josmith5 57 H
1466  Artículos
Tom and Linda   24/12/2010

Tom was in his usual place in the morning sitting at the table, reading the paper after breakfast. He came across an article about a beautiful actress that was about to marry a football player who was known primarily for his lack of IQ and common knowledge.

He turned to his wife Linda, with a look of question on his face.

"I'll never understand why the biggest shmucks get the ...


1 Comentarios, 111 Vistas, 2 Votos ,3.12 Puntuación
_JKH_ 65 H
858  Artículos
Night of the black strap on !   18/12/2010

I picked up this 6 ft tall knockout of a brunette back in the late 70's in a disco one mild winter night. She lived in a two story apartment townhouse with her bedroom upstairs. Just as sweet as she could be seemed like. Was always licking her lips like Cher.

After we had sex (and it was great too) she went into her bathroom and came out wearing a big black strap on dick that looked ...


4 Comentarios, 280 Vistas, 15 Votos ,3.13 Puntuación
josmith5 57 H
1466  Artículos
Larry asnd Susan   17/12/2010

The barn at Larry and Susan's farm burned down, and Susan called the insurance company. Susan: "We had that barn insured for fifty thousand and I want my money." Agent: "Wait just a minute, Susan... it doesn't work quite like that. We will determine the value of the old barn and provide you with a new one of comparable worth." Susan, after a pause: "I'd like to cancel the policy on my husband"


1 Comentarios, 166 Vistas, 1 Votos ,5.00 Puntuación
mzphatphat 28 M
6  Artículos
well get this   16/12/2010

ok well me and a "friend" waz you know doing the dam thing when he went down on me and boy was it feeling good till he stoped and said as he grabed my lips and said im the pussy monster and i have come to invade the town of penis! got to love him!


3 Comentarios, 184 Vistas, 4 Votos ,3.25 Puntuación
josmith5 57 H
1466  Artículos
the state trooper   16/12/2010

An 85-year old husband and wife decide to take a road trip. She drives because she can see and he rides because he can hear.

After traveling for a while, they get pulled over by a State Trooper. She rolls down her window and the cop says "I need to see your drivers license and vehicle registration please." The woman turns to her husband and shouts "WHAT DID HE SAY?" The husband replies, ...


2 Comentarios, 162 Vistas, 5 Votos ,2.82 Puntuación
josmith5 57 H
1466  Artículos
The Hammer   16/12/2010

The judge says to a double-homicide defendant, "You're charged with beating your wife to death with a hammer." A voice at the back of the courtroom yells out, "You bastard." The judge says, "You're also charged with beating your mother-in-law to death with a hammer." The voice in the back of the courtroom yells out, "You God-damned bastard." The judge stops, and says to the guy in the back of the ...


1 Comentarios, 147 Vistas, 4 Votos ,2.47 Puntuación
josmith5 57 H
1466  Artículos
the funeral service   16/12/2010

A funeral service is being held for a woman who has just passed away. At the end of the service, the pall bearers are carrying the casket out when they accidentally bump into a wall, jarring the casket. They hear a faint moan! They open the casket and find that the woman is actually alive!

She lives for ten more years, and then dies. Once again, a ceremony is held, and at the end of it, ...


1 Comentarios, 128 Vistas, 4 Votos ,4.80 Puntuación
josmith5 57 H
1466  Artículos
newlywed farm couple   15/12/2010

A young farmer is newly married and the couple can't get enough of it. Just before leaving the house for the fields at down, they tear off a piece, and when he returns home at evening they have another go, before and after supper, and maybe a couple more during the night. The problem is during the day: the fields are a long way from the house, and the young man loses so much time traveling home ...


1 Comentarios, 130 Vistas, 2 Votos ,2.42 Puntuación
josmith5 57 H
1466  Artículos
one fall day   14/12/2010

One Fall day, Bill was out raking leaves when he noticed a hearse slowly drive by. Following the first hearse, was a second hearse which was followed by a man walking solemnly along, followed by a dog, and then about 200 men walking in single file. Intrigued, Bill went up to the man following the second hearse and asked him who was in the first hearse. "My wife, " the man replied. "I'm sorry, " ...


1 Comentarios, 111 Vistas, 1 Votos ,5.00 Puntuación
_JKH_ 65 H
858  Artículos
Internet connection !   14/12/2010

There was this young man, on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. It was wonderful, the experience of his life. But, it did not last. A Hurricane came up unexpectedly. The ship went down almost instantly.

The man found himself swept up on the shore of an island. There was nothing else anywhere to be seen. No person, no supplies, nothing. The man looked around. There were some bananas and ...


5 Comentarios, 117 Vistas, 5 Votos ,1.84 Puntuación
_JKH_ 65 H
858  Artículos
Doctor ! Doctor !   14/12/2010

Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I am a set of curtains! Pull yourself together, man!

Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a bell. Well, just go home and if the feeling persists, give me a ring.

Doctor, doctor, people tell me I'm a wheelbarrow. Don't let people push you around.

Sigmund Freud by Deddi Shy Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm invisible. Who said that?! ...


1 Comentarios, 63 Vistas, 3 Votos ,1.96 Puntuación
josmith5 57 H
1466  Artículos
senior citizen romance   13/12/2010

An older couple were lying in bed one night. The husband was falling asleep but the wife was in a romantic mood and wanted to talk.

She said: "You use to hold my hand when we were courting."

Wearily he reached across, held her hand for a second and tried to get back to sleep.

A few moments later she said: "Then you use to kiss me."

Mildly irritated, he reached ...


1 Comentarios, 94 Vistas, 2 Votos ,1.73 Puntuación
_JKH_ 65 H
858  Artículos
New Panties !   3/12/2010

A frustrated wife buys a pair of crotchless panties in order to spice up her dead sex-life. She puts them on, together with a short skirt and sits on the sofa opposite her husband.

At strategic moments she uncrosses her legs enough times till her husband says, "Are you wearing crotchless panties?"

"Y-e-e-s-s-s, " she answers with a seductive smile.

"Thank God for ...


4 Comentarios, 146 Vistas, 8 Votos ,2.55 Puntuación
josmith5 57 H
1466  Artículos
the card game   3/12/2010

Boudreau, Thibodeau, Pierre, Trusclair, and Old Man John were playing cards in the back room at Pierre’s Bar. Suddenly Old Man John grabbed his chest, groaned, and fell over dead.

Everybody was upset but nobody wanted to be the one to tell John’s wife Jean... Finally Boudreau accepted the task.

“You gotta break it to her gently. We don’t want Miss Jean to think we had ...


2 Comentarios, 81 Vistas, 1 Votos ,2.40 Puntuación
josmith5 57 H
1466  Artículos
used parrot   3/12/2010

Mary decided to surprise her husband Boudreau with a parrot for his birthday. At the local pet store, the one parrot available was priced at $29.95.

“Why so inexpensive?” she asked the pet store owner.

“Well, he used to live in a house of prostitution and sometimes says vulgar things.”

Since Boudreau’s birthday was the next day, she went ahead and bought the ...


3 Comentarios, 93 Vistas, 3 Votos ,2.94 Puntuación
josmith5 57 H
1466  Artículos
hearing test   3/12/2010

One day Boudreau went to the doctor to get a check up. Boudreau says to the doctor, “Mais you know something doc ... my wife Clotile, she’s having trouble wit her hearing.”

De doc say, “Well Boudreau, how bad is it?”

“Mais doc I don’t know how bad it really is but she don’t seem to hear me at all. Whats de best way to find out how bad her hearing is?”

...


1 Comentarios, 62 Vistas, 2 Votos ,3.12 Puntuación
_JKH_ 65 H
858  Artículos
Grandma's pies !   2/12/2010

Granny made such beautiful pies.

So one day I asked her, "How do you get such beautiful pies with the crimps around the edges so even?"

She said, "It's a family secret. So promise not to tell. I roll out the dough, and I cut out a bottom layer and carefully put it in a pie plate. Then I slowly pour the filling, making sure it's not too full. Next I cut a top layer and put it ...


5 Comentarios, 176 Vistas, 12 Votos ,2.62 Puntuación
Ababix3 32 H
8  Artículos
Saving someone's picture as a screensaver   28/11/2010

If someone you've only known for a few months saves your picture as their desktop background, is that funny or downright creepy?


1 Comentarios, 81 Vistas, 1 Votos ,2.40 Puntuación
josmith5 57 H
1466  Artículos
the married mans confession   23/11/2010

A married man goes to confessional and tells the priest, "Father, I had an affair with a woman... almost."

"What do you mean almost?" questions the priest.

"Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped."

"Rubbing together is the same as putting it in, " explains the priest. "You're not to go near that woman again. Now, say five Hail Mary's and put $50 ...


1 Comentarios, 127 Vistas, 4 Votos ,2.47 Puntuación
josmith5 57 H
1466  Artículos
25th wedding anniversary   16/11/2010

A man and his wife go to their honeymoon place for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband: "When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?" The husband replied: "All I wanted to do was to fuck your brains out, and suck your tits dry." Then, as the wife undressed, she asked: "What are you ...


1 Comentarios, 131 Vistas, 5 Votos ,3.47 Puntuación
josmith5 57 H
1466  Artículos
the truck driver   16/11/2010

A truck driver was going down a steep incline when, at the foot of the hill, he was able to make out a couple having sex in the middle of the road. Five times on his descent he sounded his horn, but they didn't move. He finally brought the truck' to a halt inches from them. The truck driver got out and stormed: "What the hell's the matter with you two?.Didn't you hear me? You could have been ...


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