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New Lesbian line of sneakers 25/6/2007
Your hear about the new lesbian line of sneakers? They are
called "Dykies! unfortunately, the first batch
was recalled because the tongues weren't long enough!
0 Comentarios, 19 Vistas,
1 Votos
,1.10 Puntuación
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3 Words 25/6/2007
Whats 3 Words does a woman not want to hear when having sex?
Darling i'm home!
0 Comentarios, 39 Vistas,
1 Votos
,2.40 Puntuación
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Pinocchio And Raggedy Ann 25/6/2007
Q: Why was Raggedy Ann thrown out of the toy box? A: She kept
sitting on pinocchio's face, saying "Lie To
Me"
0 Comentarios, 15 Vistas,
0 Votos
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Nude Beach 25/6/2007
Two parents take their on vacation and go to a nude beach
. the father goes for a walk on the beach and the goes and
plays in the water. The comes running up to his mom and
says, "Mommy, i saw ladies with boobies alot bigger
than yours! The mom says, "The bigger they are the
dumber they are" So ...
0 Comentarios, 65 Vistas,
0 Votos
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SuperMan Gets Horny 25/6/2007
One day superman is really horny and sees wonderwoman sunbathing
on a beach naked! he gets an idea... "They've
always said i'm faster than a speeding bullet and i've
always wondered what she'd be like with all her powers
so he zooms down and does her in a flash and is gone before
anyone can notice all of a sudden wonderwoman sits up and
says, "What was that? then the invisible man gets
off her ...
0 Comentarios, 30 Vistas,
1 Votos
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"Hey, not a bad idea" 24/6/2007
A little old lady is walking down the street in Green Bay
WI., dragging two plastic garbage bags with her, one in
each hand. There's a hole in one of the bags, and every
once in a while a $50 bill is flying out of it onto the pavement.
Noticing this, a policeman stops her."Ma'am,
there are $50 bills falling out of that bag..." "Damn!"
says the little old lady....."I'd better go
back ...
0 Comentarios, 81 Vistas,
3 Votos
,4.41 Puntuación
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men are the head of the household 24/6/2007
When everybody on earth was dead and waiting to enter Paradise
, God appeared and said, "I want the men to make two
lines. One line for the men who were true heads of their household,
and the other line for the men who were dominated by their
women. I want all the women to report to St. Peter."
Soon, the women were gone, and there were two lines of men.
The line of men who were ...
0 Comentarios, 58 Vistas,
2 Votos
,2.42 Puntuación
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The Pope gone wild 23/6/2007
The Pope is rushed to the hospital with a very serious illness.
His bishops and doctors gather around him and break the
news. "Your Eminence, there is a cure for your condition,
but you are not gonna like it." The Bishop says. The Doctor chimes in, "Yes excellency, you will be
required to have sex in order to flush your system and speed
your path to recover." The Pope dismisses the doctor and ...
5 Comentarios, 97 Vistas,
8 Votos
,4.17 Puntuación
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Monkey Business 23/6/2007
A drifter was walking down a lonely highway at night when
the lights of a semi breaching the hill caught his eyes.
I stuck out his thumb to hitch a ride and the truck driver
pulled over. "Where ya headin?" He asked the drifter. "Well, as far as I can get." He responds. It's not long before the road has caused the small talk
to fizzle out and the truck driver says to the drifter, "Hey,
I got ...
0 Comentarios, 65 Vistas,
3 Votos
,4.90 Puntuación
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Load it up!!! 22/6/2007
Ok this is a really good joke. Nobody take is serioulsy for
I am a blonde too but I still thought it was funny....
A man gets his dick sunburned. A buddy tells him to put it
in milk and that should help it. So the man goes home gets
a cup of milk and sticks his dick in the cup. Then his blonde
girlfriend walks in and says "Oh that's how you
load that thing."
7 Comentarios, 140 Vistas,
10 Votos
,3.58 Puntuación
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Bill and Hillary 22/6/2007
Bill and Hillary are at the Yankee season opener sitting
in the first row, with the Secret Service agents directly behind them. One of the Secret Service guys leans forward and whispers
something to Bill. At first, Clinton stares at the guy, looks at Hillary, looks
back at the agent, and shakes his head. The agent then says, "Mr. President, it was at the
unanimous request of the entire team, ...
0 Comentarios, 57 Vistas,
4 Votos
,3.63 Puntuación
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Pink Weenie 22/6/2007
A couple attending an art exhibition at the National Gallery
were staring at a portrait that had them completely confused.
The painting depicted three very black and totally naked
men sitting on a park bench. Two of the figures had black weenies, but the one in the middle had a pink weenie.
The curator of the gallery realized that they were having
trouble interpreting ...
0 Comentarios, 71 Vistas,
5 Votos
,3.80 Puntuación
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Musings from Larry the Cable Guy 22/6/2007
1. A day without sunshine is like night.
2. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
4. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
5. Remember, half the people you know are below average.
6. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
7. Depression is merely anger without ...
0 Comentarios, 46 Vistas,
3 Votos
,3.92 Puntuación
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The Love Dress 22/6/2007
A woman stopped by unannounced at her recently married 's house. She rang the doorbell and walked in. She was shocked to see her -in-law lying on the couch, totally naked. Soft music was playing, and the
aroma of perfume filled the room. "What are you doing?" she asked. "I'm waiting for my husband to come home from
work, " the -in-law answered. "But you're naked!" the mother-in-law
exclaimed. ...
0 Comentarios, 74 Vistas,
5 Votos
,2.82 Puntuación
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Civics 101 22/6/2007
A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is Politics?"
Dad says, "Well , let me try to explain it this way:
I am the head of the family, so call me The President. Your mother is the administrator of the money, so we call
her the Government. We are here to take care of your needs, so we will call you
the People. The nanny, we will consider her the Working Class. And your baby brother, we will ...
0 Comentarios, 35 Vistas,
2 Votos
,3.12 Puntuación
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DOCTOR WAL-MART 22/6/2007
One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike
behind him, "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I better
see a doctor."
"Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of
money, " Mike replies. "There's a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart.
Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you
what's wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds
and costs ten dollars; ...
0 Comentarios, 43 Vistas,
4 Votos
,3.63 Puntuación
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Doctor Wal-Mart 22/6/2007
One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike
behind him, "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I better
see a doctor."
"Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of
money, " Mike replies. "There's a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart.
Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you
what's wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds
and costs ten dollars; ...
0 Comentarios, 19 Vistas,
3 Votos
,3.43 Puntuación
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WHO IS THE BOSS? 22/6/2007
He stormed into the kitchen and announced, "From
now on, you need to know that I am the man of this house and
my word is Law.
You will prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I'm
finished eating my meal, you will serve me a sumptuous dessert.
After dinner, you are going to go upstairs with me and we
will have the kind of sex that I want.
Afterwards, you are going to ...
0 Comentarios, 40 Vistas,
4 Votos
,4.41 Puntuación
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Beer and its effects 22/6/2007
Man goes into a bar and approaches
a beautiful lady sitting by herself.
Man: "May I buy you a drink?"
Lady: "No thank you, alcohol is bad for my legs."
Man: "Sorry to hear that. Do they swell?"
Lady: "No, they spread."
0 Comentarios, 48 Vistas,
3 Votos
,4.90 Puntuación
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Thats not what pissed me off.... 21/6/2007
Jack was sitting at the bar ordering another beer when his
friend Simon came in. Simon said to Jack, "Hey man, how's it going?"
Jack replied, "Not good, I was in some real trouble
the weekend." Simon asked to hear about it so Jack began to tell the story.
"I went to this chicks house in fact we met in this bar
over there, and anyways we went to her bedroom, I was really
sloshed, but I was still ...
4 Comentarios, 93 Vistas,
8 Votos
,3.71 Puntuación
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viagra slogans 21/6/2007
10. Viagra, Whaazzzz up!
9. Viagra, The quicker pecker picker upper.
8. Viagra, like a rock!
7. Viagra, When it absolut ely, positively has to be there
overnight.
6. Viagra, Be all that you can be.
5. Viagra, Reach out and touch someone.
4. Viagra, Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman.
3. Viagra, Home of the whopper! ...
0 Comentarios, 24 Vistas,
2 Votos
,2.42 Puntuación
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The old guy 21/6/2007
An "Old School" Guy walks into a remote country
cafe' and sees a sign ranging over the bar which reads:
#1 CHEESEBURGER: $3.75 #2 CHICKEN SANDWICH : $4.25 #3 HANDJOB: $ 20.00
Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks
up to the bar and beckons to one of the three exceptionally attractive
women serving drinks to a meager looking group of men.
"Yes?" she ...
0 Comentarios, 56 Vistas,
4 Votos
,4.41 Puntuación
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God's one wish 21/6/2007
A man riding his Harley was riding along a California beach,
when suddenly
>>the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming
voice, the Lord said, >>"Because you have tried to be faithful to
me in all ways, I will grant you
>>one wish." >> >> >> >>The biker pulled over and said, "Build a
bridge to Hawaii so I can ride >>over anytime I want". >> >> >> >>The Lord said, "Your ...
0 Comentarios, 40 Vistas,
3 Votos
,2.94 Puntuación
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One of Zanadu's Favorite Blonde Jokes - Smiles 21/6/2007
A blonde heard that milk baths would make her beautiful.
She left a note for her milkman to leave 25 gallons of milk.
When the milkman read the note, he felt there must be a mistake.
He thought she probably meant 2.5 gallons.
So he knocked on the door to clarify the point.
The blonde came to the door and the milkman said, "I
found your note asking me to leave 25 gallons ...
3 Comentarios, 79 Vistas,
7 Votos
,3.80 Puntuación
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MOWING and BEER 21/6/2007
On Saturday afternoon, I was sitting in my lawn chair, drinking
beer and watching my wife mow the lawn. The neighbor lady
from across the street was so outraged that she came over and shouted at me, "You should be hung!"
I took a drink from my can of Miller Lite, wiped the cold foam
from my lips, lifted my darkened Ray Ban sunglasses and
stared directly into the eyes of this nosy ass neighbor
and ...
3 Comentarios, 82 Vistas,
9 Votos
,3.43 Puntuación
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A Woman's Scorn 21/6/2007
A married couple is driving along a highway doing a steady
60 miles per hour. The wife is behind the wheel. Her husband
suddenly looks across at her and speaks in a clear voice.
"I know we've been married for twenty years,
but I want a divorce."
The wife says nothing, Keeps looking at the road ahead but
slowly increases her speed to 65 mph. The husband speaks
again. "I ...
1 Comentarios, 83 Vistas,
6 Votos
,4.79 Puntuación
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Not Happy 21/6/2007
I rear-ended a car a few days ago.
The driver got out of the other car, and he was a DWARF!!
He was pissed!
He looked up at me and said "I am NOT happy!"
I said " Then which one are you?"
0 Comentarios, 44 Vistas,
4 Votos
,1.30 Puntuación
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it's good to exercise with someone 20/6/2007
Two fitness enthusiasts were discussing their respective
activities. "Different things happen, "said
one of the men. "For example, while i was jogging through
the park early yesterday morning i suddenly lost my sweat
pants and shorts. "Were they exceptionally loose?
inquired the friend. "No-but the girl i was jogging
with turned out to be!"
1 Comentarios, 86 Vistas,
7 Votos
,3.55 Puntuación
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He got what he wished for! 20/6/2007
A man found a strange bottle in a store. he purchased it and
took it home. he began to clean the bottle when, in a puff
of smoke, a genie appeared. "i grant you three wishes.
"The genie said, gigling out loud. this genie had
a sense of humor. "'i want a billion dollars in
gold. "Demanded the man. The genie pointed to the
ocean and said "Your wish is granted, it's the
bottom of the sea and all ...
0 Comentarios, 63 Vistas,
4 Votos
,0.14 Puntuación
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i've heard that saying 20/6/2007
"i believe in love at first sight, "confided
the youthful girl to her room mate, "the first time
i saw a hard one i just knew i'd love it!"
0 Comentarios, 42 Vistas,
4 Votos
,0.92 Puntuación
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