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Hmmmmm 20/6/2007
"Oww....My blind last night turned out to be your
former boyfriend. "groaned the young woman to her
room mate, "and i now understand why you called him
the wild texas longhorn!
0 Comentarios, 41 Vistas,
3 Votos
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Oh yeah..... 20/6/2007
A shapely teenage blonde walked in to a local card shop "Do
you have, like, any really special valentines? She asked
the store keeper "We have a private line...here,
"Smiled the salesman as he slipped it out from under
the counter. "it says, To the boy who got my cherry!"
"WOW! exclaimed the girl, "i'll take the
whole box"
0 Comentarios, 52 Vistas,
3 Votos
,0.98 Puntuación
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Oh those funny country folk........again 20/6/2007
A young sociologist was doing a in-depth study of conditions
and attitudes in appalachia. he asked a local, "Sir,
what are your professional views on the increasing employment
of aphrodisiacs?" "Wa-a-al, i'll tell
yah, "ruminated the man being questioned, "as
long as they does their job, i don't think it makes no
never mind how they wears their hair!
0 Comentarios, 42 Vistas,
3 Votos
,0.49 Puntuación
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Bush and Cheney in a diner 20/6/2007
One day President Bush along with Vice President Cheney
go to a diner in Washington for their lunch The waitress
asks the VP "What will you have, Sir? Cheney replies
"just some toast and a cup of hot tea" Ok, and
for you, Mr. President?" "i'll have a quickie"
says Bush ...
0 Comentarios, 39 Vistas,
2 Votos
,1.73 Puntuación
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Checking in... 20/6/2007
Aman in a hotel lobby. he wants to ask the clerk a question
as he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps
into a woman beside him and as he does, his elbow goes into
her breast. they are both startled and he say's, "Ma'am,
if your heart is as soft as your breast, i know you'll
forgive me. She replies, "if your penis is as hard
as your elbow, ...
0 Comentarios, 33 Vistas,
3 Votos
,0.98 Puntuación
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Blonde paint job 20/6/2007
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself
out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy
neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house
and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.
"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The
man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that ...
0 Comentarios, 70 Vistas,
3 Votos
,3.92 Puntuación
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0 to 200 in 6 seconds 20/6/2007
Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary.
His wife was really pissed.
She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a
gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER
BE THERE !!"
The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his
wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a
box gift-wrapped in the middle of ...
3 Comentarios, 88 Vistas,
9 Votos
,4.71 Puntuación
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You should never drink too much! 20/6/2007
Screama and howls from the men's room caused the bartender
and several patrons to charge in. "Evertime i flush
this thing, "the drunk mumbled, "it bites
me! "Of course it does, "The bartender said,
laughing, "you're sitting on the mop bucket!"
0 Comentarios, 28 Vistas,
2 Votos
,2.42 Puntuación
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i often wondered about that position 20/6/2007
A very unhappy husband complained to his buddy, "My
loves the misionary position-in her bed and me in Africa!"
0 Comentarios, 34 Vistas,
1 Votos
,1.10 Puntuación
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eye exam 20/6/2007
A guy goes to his eye doctor for an examination. they start
talking as the doctor is examing his eyes in the middle of
their conversation, the doctor casually says, "You
need to stop masturbating. "The guy replies, "Why
doc? Am i going blind?" The doctor says, "No,
but your upsetting the other patients in the waiting room"
0 Comentarios, 42 Vistas,
1 Votos
,3.70 Puntuación
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Nymphomaniac Convention 20/6/2007
A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled
in, he glanced up and saw a most beautiful woman boarding the plane. He
soon realized she was heading straight towards his seat. As fate would have
it, she took the seat right beside his.
Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out, "Business
trip or pleasure?"
She turned, smiled and said, "Business. I'm ...
3 Comentarios, 109 Vistas,
10 Votos
,5.38 Puntuación
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Bedroom Golf 20/6/2007
1. Each player shall furnish his own equipment for play
- normally one club and two balls.
2. Play on a course must be approved by the owner of the hole.
3. Unlike outdoor golf, the object is to get the club in the
hole and keep the balls out.
4. For most effective play, the club should have a firm shaft.
Course ...
8 Comentarios, 165 Vistas,
16 Votos
,5.77 Puntuación
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The Cow 19/6/2007
A trucker takes a stool at the bar. "Bartender, gimme
a Jack!", then slams it down. "Give me another!",
he shouts. He slams that one down, and says, "I'm
so thirsty, I could lick the sweat off a cow's balls!"
A gay guy in the corner stands up and says, "Moo Moo,
big fella!"
2 Comentarios, 126 Vistas,
5 Votos
,2.49 Puntuación
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Wanna play house 19/6/2007
"Sweetheart you really must talk with jayne if only
because she'll pay attention to you "said the
wife and mother of jayne, "i caught her playing house
with little johnny next door" "So? replied
the husband, "didn't you play house when you
were her age? "Yeah, of course-but didn't demand
50 dollars in play money!"
0 Comentarios, 52 Vistas,
0 Votos
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if it make it grow 19/6/2007
Two young housewives, both advid gardeners, were discussing
botantical theories. "Do you really believe, "asked
one of the housewives, "That talking affectionately
to a plant can make it grow bigger?" "i certainly
do, replied the other housewife, "in my experience,
anything organic can be increased in size by affectionate
handling"
1 Comentarios, 66 Vistas,
3 Votos
,2.45 Puntuación
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Ouch, that really hurts! 19/6/2007
A wife phoned her husband who was busy playing porker at
a buddys house and reminded her husband how late it was and
demanded he come home at once. "But Martha, "
explained the man, "i can't quit now. Why, i've
got a stack of quarters as long as my pecker." "William,
"The wife replied, "You mean all you got left
is two lousy bucks!"
0 Comentarios, 71 Vistas,
4 Votos
,3.25 Puntuación
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Fart Football 19/6/2007
A little old couple prepares to go to bed They no sooner hit
the pillows when the old man farts and says, "Seven
points" His wife rolls over and says "What was
that"? The old man replied, "its fart football"
A few minutes later his wife lets one go and says, "Touchdown,
tie score....? After about five minutes the old man lets
another one go and says, "Aha. i'm ahead 14 ...
1 Comentarios, 40 Vistas,
4 Votos
,2.47 Puntuación
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WOMEN'S REVENGE 19/6/2007
"Cash, check or charge? "i asked after folding
items the woman wished to purchase As she fumbled for her
wallet i noticed a remote control for a television set in
her purse. "So, do you always carry your TV remote?
i asked "No, "She replied, "But my husband
refused to come shopping with me, ...
0 Comentarios, 29 Vistas,
3 Votos
,1.47 Puntuación
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Marriage Seminar 19/6/2007
While attending a marriage Seminar dealing with communication,
Tom and his wife Grace listenend to the instructor "it
is essential that husbands and wives know each other's
like's and dislike's He addressed the man, "Can
you name your wife's favorite flower? Tom leaned over,
touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, "its"
Pillsbury, ...
0 Comentarios, 27 Vistas,
2 Votos
,1.73 Puntuación
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Blonde 19/6/2007
When the surgeon came to see Bambi on the day after her operation,
she asked him somewhat hesitantly just how long it would
be before she could resume her sex life. "Uh, I hadn't really thought about it"
replied the stunned surgeon. "You are the first one
ever to ask that after a tonsillectomy."
0 Comentarios, 55 Vistas,
0 Votos
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The not so bright farmer 18/6/2007
the farmer purchase a group of 20 pigs, he wants to try his
hand at pig farming two weeks later fes looking at his pigs
in a field. Woundering why they have not mated he calls the
vet the vet says first you must mate the pigs then they will
leave the field and play in the mud. Excited the farmer races
home, loads the pigs into his pick-up and heads for the woods.
in the woods he mates with each ...
1 Comentarios, 93 Vistas,
6 Votos
,3.08 Puntuación
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more jokes from the net 18/6/2007
Subject: Rooster A farmer goes out one day and buys a brand
new stud rooster to copulate with his chickens the farmer
puts the rooster straight in the pen so he can get down to
business The young rooster wlks over to the old rooster
and says "OK, old fellow, time to retire." The
old rooster says, "you can't handle all these ...
0 Comentarios, 60 Vistas,
3 Votos
,3.43 Puntuación
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Similarity 18/6/2007
What is the major similarity between a womans breasts and
a model train set? give up? there're both intended
for young , but grown men play with them more!
0 Comentarios, 37 Vistas,
1 Votos
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Runny Nose 18/6/2007
What do you call a with
a runny nose? Full!...
0 Comentarios, 20 Vistas,
1 Votos
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Sign Language 18/6/2007
A construction worker on the 5th floor building needs a
handsaw. So he spots another worker on the ground floor
and yells down to him, but he can't hear him. So the worker
on the 5th floor tries sign language He points to his eye
meaning "i", point to his knee meaning 'need',
then moves ...
0 Comentarios, 43 Vistas,
2 Votos
,2.42 Puntuación
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Gay Bar 18/6/2007
Two cocks walking down the street, they pass a gay bar, one
cock says to the other cock, i'm going inside to get
shit faced
0 Comentarios, 56 Vistas,
2 Votos
,1.04 Puntuación
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HERE'S ONE FOR YA 18/6/2007
WHAT DO YOU CALL A DYKE DRIVING A TRUCK FULL OD dilldos a DICK
VAN DYKE...
1 Comentarios, 64 Vistas,
4 Votos
,0.14 Puntuación
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Slot machine 18/6/2007
A dumb blonde was standing in front of a soda machine outside
a local srore. after putting in sixty cents, a root beer
pops out of the machine. she set it on the ground, puts sixty
more cents into the machine, and pushes another button,
suddenly, a coke comes out of the machine! She continued
to do this until a man waiting to use the machine became ...
0 Comentarios, 50 Vistas,
3 Votos
,2.45 Puntuación
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The truth can hurt 18/6/2007
One saturday afternoon a man's wife came home from
a lingerie shop with a pair of frilly, lace imported panties
that cost $75.00 she explained it by saying "after
all dear, you wouldn't expect to find top-quality
perfume in a cheap bottle. "No snapped the husband
"and i wouldn't expect to find gift wrapping
around a deed beaver either!
1 Comentarios, 89 Vistas,
5 Votos
,3.14 Puntuación
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Names 17/6/2007
A small indian boy was talking to his father one day Father,
why is sister's name running deer? Well, "the
father replied "When your sister was first born,
i walked out of a teepee, & and the first thing i saw was
a deer. it ran away from me. so i named your sister after "it
Well, father, why is brothers name little bear? ...
0 Comentarios, 80 Vistas,
4 Votos
,0.92 Puntuación
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